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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

hurtful toxic family

9 replies

dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 10:41

right how to start .... me and my husband have been together now for several years married only 8 months we have 4 children 2 together and my older sons from a previous marriage which my husband has brought up from a very early age as his own. husband has 3 brothers and 1 sister. He really wanted me to have a relationship with him and his mum and I have tried my hardest for a few years now to get on with them all though it has sometimes been very difficult. They have always treated his brothers wife horridly calling her everything from a bad mum to a slag, I find her quite a nice person and know she would be horrified by some of the things they say about her and her children. Now they seem to have gotten fed up with her and turned there nastiness towards me and my children. fast forwards a couple of months me and my husband had enjoyed a perfect wedding all the family was getting on then his sister started dropping things into conversation about an ex girlfriend of his and how she thought our other sister in law was attracted to him.A few days later all the family children were having a snowball fight they had great fun and it ended on happy terms. That night I received a phone call about my son getting carried away at the snowball fight and giving her son frost bight in his face both boys are 11. I told her I thought she was exaggerating and both boys were good friends and she blew up calling all my children awful names evil, c&*ts, etc etc I put the phone down and obviously told my husband we decided to cut contact with her till she calmed down and apologised that was 3 months ago.. since then I have had all kinds of accusations made about me and our children from my leaving the kids with her while my husbands at work for full days and not telling anyone were I am, to my daughters being riddled with head lice our children all attend the same school and I have been made to feel intimated there by her husband I have had mucky lucks threats of violence and my children have been ignored. Mother in law has also decided to fall out with us came to our house to try and sort things out and ended up making our 4 year old cry telling her none of us were welcome at her house any more so I asked her to leave. sister in law is currently living at mother in laws with her husband an 5 children as they no longer liked the house they lived in, mother in laws house is only 2 bedrooms. The latest thing is she has taken all her children out of the school and putting the blame on my children. has anyone please got any thoughts on this or advice feel like im going crazy

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dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 11:17

forgot to add sil has fallen out with alot of people over the last few years her inlaws, friends, parents at school, other family members but mil is blinded to this and is putting all the blame onto me Confused

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butterfly2015 · 16/03/2015 12:02

I would just cut contact with the whole dysfunctional lot. These are adults? Calling children names and all bitching about everyone?

It does sound like they all thrive on drama, it's exhausting reading about it, living it must be awful. What does your dh think? I'd talk to the school and make them aware of the issues going on and then block them all on social media and possibly change phone numbers. Just disengage from them completely.

SunnyBaudelaire · 16/03/2015 12:05

they sound horrible, just do not engage with them.

dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 12:15

There horrible Ive always known they were but really tried with them for my husbands sake. What really puzzles me is how mil has turned on me, we had what I thought was a great relationship then suddenly her daughter wants to argue with me and she joins in when I have done absolutely nothing wrong towards anyone.I can sort of take the insults etc directed at me they hurt but Im an adult but when they start on my children it just takes it to an other level. I have been into the school this morning they were already aware of the situation apparently and have looked into the accusations made against my children but have found nothing in it. My husband is so upset and hurt and cannot believe his own family are doing this to us

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dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 12:35

Dh mother is absolutely blinded to her daughters behaviour, he poured his heart out to her over the weekend about how he felt about the whole situation and all she did was defend her daughter and put the blame on me! Then says were all welcome at her house anytime yet her daughter live there with her husband and 5 children Hmm

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dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 13:29

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RubyMay82 · 16/03/2015 13:49

Some people are just bonkers !
I would retreat, retreat as fast as you can.
I know you don't want to fall out with your husband over it and it IS his family but that doesn't mean YOU need to take their nonsense & you are also his family !
Walk away with your head held high.
If they carry on like that they're obviously unhappy but you can't let them drag you down!

dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 14:07

Thanks RubyMay82 thats what they are bonkers!

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dreaminred10 · 16/03/2015 14:37

I think they are unhappy I think there bored and jealous of other peoples happiness so try and put a spanner in the works

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