I feel so sad

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

I walked out on my partner today, taking 1 yo ds with me. I've tried this before and been talked round but last time was his final chance. I won't bore you with the details but he's been extremely unpleasant towards me for years, and ever since I got pregnant 100 times worse. I'm no angel, in fact quite mouthy but I realise this is the wrong environment to bring up a child.

Now I've had the pleading and begging I feel terrible. I'm so sad for many reasons. ..feel like a loser, feel bad for mil she's a widow, feel bad for ds because I'm taking him away from a very privileged life. Most of all I feel sad things didn't work out, as there was a lot of love between us once.

I just wanted to let it out. My dm very good but mostly advice is quite tough 'don't be a fool etc'

By "privileged life" I assume you mean DS's daddy is quite well off? I don't believe it's much of a privilege to be brought up by someone unpleasant, however rich they are. Also, presumably your ex promised to behave better if you went back last time, but hasn't, otherwise you wouldn't be leaving again. So if you go back this time, why should he even try to improve? He didn't lose anything by being an arse last time.

good on you for leaving.
yes, his sort do tend to get worse when a child or 'competitor' for their demands and your affection comes on the scene.
don't go back to him.
the pleading and begging is all lies.
he'll lie to confuse you and bend the truth.
he's a liar and a pig.

Thanks Annie. You are right on every score. Don't get me wrong I don't think having money makes things better but you know the silly things that sometimes go round in your head at times like this.
I so wanted my ds to have a mummy and daddy together, sounds pathetic I know. And I realise that sometimes you can be better parents apart. It is just so raw atm

The final straw was being told I shouldn't have a mothers day because ds shouldn't be here (he was a surprise). So wanted by me but not dp .....

Thanks champion x

Your daughter will survive this and so will you. Stop feeling guilty about everybody else and concentrate on building a happy life for you and your daughter. Don't look back, you are doing the right thing.

Keep your pecker up and stay strong.

OP, how are you today?

Hello champion. Feeling much better, it's amazing what a great nights sleep can do! Thank you so much for asking. Funnily enough just thinking about what you said about the lies - I just found out this morning about a massive lie he told me ha ha ha I'm laughing cos I'm so relieved I didn't give in to his crying and begging on Sunday lol

You should t have a Mother's Day?!

Honestly, some people.

I'm so pleased that you have found the courage to leave, so many don't especially where there is a great financial package in place.

A lot of people also stay for their children but don't seem to realise how they are modelling their dysfunctional relationship to their own children. Who them go on to end up in dysfunctional relationships themselves!

Stay strong, do not believe promises of change, they never materialise.

Thank you, I have to be honest the money has been a worry at first but we can definitely manage. One year olds don't care about flash holidays and sports cars just a happy home I'm sure x

Well done for getting out.
You have to do what is best for you and DS.
As a PP said, it's no privilege being brought up in an unhappy household where the father completely disrespects the mother of his own child.
That's a horrible lesson to learn from an early age so you have done the right thing.
Keep strong and keep going.