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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bi Curiuos ?

21 replies

curious47 · 15/03/2015 16:56

My Bi Curious side is getting stronger and have now decided that its time to either dismiss these feelings forever or do something about it.

I suppose I just really want to find out what having sex with another woman is really like - the thought of it really turns me on.

Should I arrange a hook up ? if so how ? what if no one fancies me ? what if I dont fancy them ? how do I do this without DP finding out (he'd never understand) am I too old ?

If I do manage to arrange a hook up,would it be the wrong thing to do ? It seems really sleazy and isn't something I'd ever contemplate doing with a man (how ever desperate I was).

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation ?

OP posts:
curious47 · 15/03/2015 16:58

would help if I could spell Curious right in thread title.............

OP posts:
PossumPoo · 15/03/2015 17:04

You'd do this behind you DP back? So in other words cheat? Hmm

Mostlyjustaluker · 15/03/2015 17:11

You want help to cheat on your husband and not get found out. This is not going to go down well.

It is a bit like saying I am really attracted to short dark haired men but DH is tall and blond, how can I have sex with somebody who is short and dark with out him finding out.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/03/2015 17:13

So it doesn't count as cheating because it's a woman? Hmm

worrieddadof2 · 15/03/2015 18:47

Advise your partner its over between you and him and explain why. Then you are free to do whatever or whoever you want.

WildFlowerWoman · 15/03/2015 19:46

Why don't you ask your DP if he fancies a threesome with another woman - that way you will all be happy. Grin

albal14 · 15/03/2015 21:16

what wild said
Nothing more to add.

AnyFucker · 15/03/2015 21:21

ugh

gamerchick · 15/03/2015 21:24

Why can't you talk to your partner? Don't look into some sleazy meet up.. would you do the same to meet a dude?

uglyswan · 16/03/2015 00:33

It seems really sleazy because it IS really sleazy, OP. And speaking as a bi-woman: I'd run a mile from anyone contemplating a hookup behind their DP's back to satisfy some vague "curiosity".

FickleByNurture · 16/03/2015 10:00

Arf, this is an interesting thread... There's always prostitutes, OP. Or you could encourage your DP to get a sex change?

iamsomeoneelse · 16/03/2015 10:42

This doesn't need to be a relationship self-destruct moment if you don't want it to be. Talk to your DP about it, find out how he feels, and proceed from there. You say 'He'd never understand,' but he may be willing to turn a blind eye, or perhaps join in (if that's something you'd consider...), or perhaps he has his own secret hidden desire that he thinks you'd 'never understand.' Could be a case for a bit of marital give and take?

Do you think you could 'dismiss these feelings forever' as you suggest in your header post?

DrMorbius · 16/03/2015 14:35

iamsomeoneelse - would you say the same to the following post?
My "3 some" Curious side is getting stronger and have now decided that its time to either dismiss these feelings forever or do something about it.

I suppose I just really want to find out what having sex with 2 young woman is really like - the thought of it really turns me on.

Should I arrange a hook up ? if so how ? what if no one fancies it ? what if I dont fancy them ? how do I do this without DW finding out (She'd never understand) am I too old ?

If I do manage to arrange a hook up,would it be the wrong thing to do ? It seems really sleazy and isn't something I'd ever contemplate doing with just one woman (how ever desperate I was).

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation ?

iamsomeoneelse · 16/03/2015 15:02

Sure -- in both scenarios I'd be in favour of talking about stuff with your DP and getting feelings out in the open, rather than stewing on them in isolation. The conversation might not go the way you'd like it to, but at least you've talked about it. In both scenarios, I would not be in favour of anyone sneaking behind anyone else's back in a way that might upset them or leave them feeling betrayed.

DrMorbius · 16/03/2015 15:06

95% of the men I have ever met are "3-some" curious (5% are no longer curious).

WildFlowerWoman · 16/03/2015 18:29

DrMorbius, so true, threesomes are a male (and sometimes a female) fantasy. As distasteful as it is to some, it is nevertheless true!

lifeisforliving49 · 29/03/2015 12:17

well

lifeisforliving49 · 29/03/2015 12:22

oops = hit button too fast
Start again

Well, I think the OP was just asking a question and it seems she didnt return because most people jumped on her and talked about moral views on cheating etc.

My guess is that the reason she was asking is because she is curious - and that is ok - and has reservations about cheating - so shows morals too.

For what it is worth - I too am curious - have thoughts - which have kept to myself - but doesnt make me a bad person.

I hope the OP finds the answers she wants and makes the right choices for her.

ALaughAMinute · 29/03/2015 14:19

I had a threesome once (with a man and a woman) but didn't like it.

lifeisforliving49 · 29/03/2015 16:11

I dont thinks OP was talking about a threesome - and that definitely isn't something I have interest in (but horses for courses and all that)

I have to be honest though and say that if the moment came and I was somewhere with a woman and there was mutual attraction I would be tempted - one of lifes experiences. I am not actively looking but the thought has been there for a while. so who knows. just wanted to say this as felt OP got bit of a rough deal for expressing her thoughts.

notsurewot2do32 · 29/03/2015 16:20

Yeah I do feel sorry for OP a bit...

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