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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this relationship viable?

1 reply

beginningofnewbeginning · 15/03/2015 12:53

I am currently going through a marriage break up. Things had been bad for a while and he was emotionally abusive, our relationship was unhappy and I am sure that this is for the best. I moved out a couple of weeks ago. We have 2 small children and they are spending Sunday to Friday with me and Friday night to Sunday lunch with him. I live overseas in husband's country.

Now my issue is that I have met someone else, a colleague (single), who became very close during the time of the break up and now has become more than a friend. We have the most incredible connection, we feel like we've fallen in love, we have a calm and lovely relationship. Now that I am on my own at weekends we are just spending time together. But this seems to be a bit crazy. If my husband found out it would be terrible so we are having to keep this a secret. I feel bad that I am in another relationship so soon. However, I feel like if I had met him before we would definitely have been together.

I really want to just keep spending time with him and see where it goes but I am afraid that this is in some way a bad way to start things. In the long run I'm not sure where it could go, if things continue to go well I think he would be happy to be with me and my children but I live abroad and at some point we would want to leave this country and then my husband could obviously cause issues about that. On the other hand I think if I just carry on with it for now even if it doesn't work out in the long run at least I can enjoy the present and have someone to help me cope with the current situation.

I feel like I'm being selfish by being in this relationship as I am so happy with him and yet my husband and dcs are going through this terrible traumatic situation. Is this really wrong of me? It's really hard as I cannot talk to anyone about this and I feel like maybe I've lost all perspective and am acting like a selfish teenager or something.

OP posts:
Preciousbane · 15/03/2015 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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