I know lots of people have lost their mothers and this is a very sad day for them. I am truly sorry for them. But my mother was an abusive mother who made my life an utter misery for 18 years until I left home, and even after that, and who is responsible for the current rock-bottom mental state of my sister, who is morbidly obese through decades of comfort eating and despite years of psychotherapy is still medicated to high heaven and about a hair's breadth away from attempting suicide at the moment. And in 20 mins I have to call her and thank her for being our wonderful mother. I will do it, because my weak father, who never stopped her physical and mental torture of his children, will suffer for weeks if I do not. And I am so angry about that. I normally can let thoughts of her roll away, contact is minimal and visits are few (I live in another country) so she doesn't get in to my mind usually but I've woken up so cross about this today, just like every year. I sent a basic card, it's always hard to find one that is not gushing. Why can't I have a mother who deserves a gushing card? FB is full of pics of my friends with their loving mothers. At this stage I would even rather be someone who had at least had a loving mother for a while and then lost her. Which is awful thing to say but it's true. Don't tell me I'll miss her when she's gone because honestly I will not. Another awful thing to say but it is true 