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Relationships

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Original poster

Not even a "happy Mother's Day"

20 replies

Confused44 · 15/03/2015 12:23

So I'd decided Mother's Day was my last ditch attempt at saving my relationship. My lg is 3 so I thought daddy might take her to pick a card or some flowers. How stupid was I?
I got nothing. Not even a happy Mother's Day from my boyfriend. He did the same last year and then told me "your not my mother" I've spent the last hour crying. As soon as my daughter goes to bed I plan to tell him I don't love him anymore and end it for good. Wish me luck.

And happy Mother's Day to all you amazing mums :)

OP posts:

chocolatefingersandtoes · 15/03/2015 12:25

Good luckyou deserve so so much more!

Squeegle · 15/03/2015 12:27

He doesn't sound too kind. Does he have anything to redeem him? If not, sounds like it is time for a change. Good luck.

scallopsrgreat · 15/03/2015 12:28

Good luck Confused. You don't sound confused. You sound like you know what you want and you are doing the right thing x

keepsmiling2015 · 15/03/2015 12:29

Did he know you were basing the future of the relationship on how he acted today on mothers day? If he had spoiled you today would that have made you love him? I don't understand.

Original poster

Confused44 · 15/03/2015 12:29

I was confused. I've been confused for the last year. But this made me realise I do deserve more. He's left me at home with or daughter and gone out to wash his car. Nothing says I appreciate you like that

OP posts:

Original poster

Confused44 · 15/03/2015 12:31

No but I told him how upset I was after last year. And I guess I wanted to see if he cared enough to make an effort. Probably didn't word that right but if I thought he actually cared I was going to suggest couples counselling to see if it could be saved

OP posts:

keepsmiling2015 · 15/03/2015 12:42

Sorry to hear that. Best of luck op.

Isetan · 15/03/2015 13:43

Your bf not celebrating Mother's Day isn't an active way of 'attempting to save your relationship'. Not loving someone is a good enought reason to end a relationship, not getting a card and some daffs on Mothers Day, not so much.

What is it up with Mother's Day being the 'how much he loves me' barometer of supposedly adult women.

larrygrylls · 15/03/2015 13:46

What are you doing for your mother, op?

cleanmyhouse · 15/03/2015 13:53

I don't think its a barometer. Its just the final straw for some people in already bad situations.

Good luck confused.

blueberrypie0112 · 15/03/2015 14:00

Smh. He was part of the reason you became a mother. He should celebrate that with his kids. As you celebrate father's day (assuming you have those as we do in the U.S.) with your kids. Unless they are old enough to celebrate it without his help.

blueberrypie0112 · 15/03/2015 14:02

Btw, do you seriously don't love him or just upset because how he treated you?

GertrudeBell · 15/03/2015 14:14

I don't think it's reasonable to expect your partner to do something for mother's day, and it's been less reasonable to use this as a final test for your relationship.

If you want to split because of the water that's already passed under the bridge, by all means split.

But this is not a good reason for doing so.

TBH if I was your DP I'd seriously whether I wanted to be in a relationship with someone spent an hour crying over this.

Isetan · 15/03/2015 14:32

I don't think its a barometer. Its just the final straw for some people in already bad situations.

The OP says she was going to suggest therapy, if her partner had passed her Mother's Day card and flowers test. It doesn't sound like the final straw but rather a petulant strop.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 15/03/2015 14:35

Sounds like the last staw.

I've sorted my niece and nephew out this morning because their dad couldn't be arsed. He likes to play king dick but is a selfish cunt.

EmEyeFaive · 15/03/2015 14:42

but rather a petulant strop.

I'm not that well qualified to comment. I never know when Mother's Day is (until you lot tell me) and struggle even with birthdays. But...

I think the issue is seeing your own realtionship in sharp relief against, not only the idealised one of adverts, but also what might feel like "everybody else".

So I think probably not a strop in the OP's case. Perhd more like a cold bucket of confirmation that the " all is not well" sensation (that is easier to overlook with the business of normal life) is not a figment of the immagination.

MummyBtothree · 15/03/2015 15:24

The comment ' you're not my mother' is unbelievable coming from a grown man. No wonder you feel like you do. Doesnt sound like he even thinks as a father coming out with comments like that. Your little girl is only young so relies on her daddy helping her celebrate your day but when shes older you will share many special mothers days together. Concentrate on the fact you are a mum and turn it round. Dont think I would want to be with a bloke like that at all.

Tryharder · 15/03/2015 15:34

End a relationship for real reasons not because your DP doesn't subscribe to Hallmark Day.

I'm imagining a future conversation where your DD asks you why you split up with her Dad. You then reply, oh well he didn't get me a Mothers Day Card two years in a row.

myown2feetaregreat · 15/03/2015 15:39

I'm just back from the shops, did not see too many 3 yr olds on their own clutching their little purses looking for a pressie for mum. Did see an awful lot of lovely men having lots of fun looking for a present for mummy. No ,you are not his mum, you don't have to be his partner either ,if this is how selfish he is normally. Have some sent virtually from your LO

MadeMan · 15/03/2015 15:40

Mother's Day (and Easter) are a good excuse to get some early fresh cut spring flowers in the house; whatever the probably blatant marketed John Lewis type advertising motive behind getting them.

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