It going round and round and feels like it's going to explode. I started a thread in AIBU (see below) which has raised so much more than I thought was going on. I don't know which way is up anymore. Someone suggested I post more generally here but I don't even know where to start.
Some posters were having a go at me for drip feeding which I really don't understand. How can I know everything that's relevant in a first post? Isn't it normal to provide more information as a conversation progresses? My dad used to think it was funny to put sellotape over my mouth because I couldn't sort relevant from irrelevant information. Now I'm in trouble for trying to be more to the point.
Then I have the battle with theory of mind. My intelligent head tells me that people only know what I type here and now. But the autistic part of me knows that everyone knows everything that I know so I don't need to say it. Especially as I've already said it before, although under a different user name. I thought this core deficit in autism was common knowledge so I feel really distressed at people having a go because I haven't said something that I assume they already know.
It's all so confusing.
But the actual problem is that I need to tell my sister the truth about my parents wedding anniversary. I see that now. The prospect however fills me with absolute terror. I've composed a short factual message but I'm too scared to send it. I want to run away from it all. Lots of people on that thread were accusing me of being a drama llama which really worries me and makes me want to do my usual thing of retreating into my cave and cutting off my contact with the outside world, which they also had a go about. I don't understand how wanting to hide away from scary or hurtful situations is seeking drama. It's the only way I know to protect myself.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2331414-to-boycott-my-parents-30th-anniversary?msgid=53148460