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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My head feels like the inside of a washing machine

2 replies

VisitTheInfidel · 14/03/2015 23:22

It going round and round and feels like it's going to explode. I started a thread in AIBU (see below) which has raised so much more than I thought was going on. I don't know which way is up anymore. Someone suggested I post more generally here but I don't even know where to start.

Some posters were having a go at me for drip feeding which I really don't understand. How can I know everything that's relevant in a first post? Isn't it normal to provide more information as a conversation progresses? My dad used to think it was funny to put sellotape over my mouth because I couldn't sort relevant from irrelevant information. Now I'm in trouble for trying to be more to the point.

Then I have the battle with theory of mind. My intelligent head tells me that people only know what I type here and now. But the autistic part of me knows that everyone knows everything that I know so I don't need to say it. Especially as I've already said it before, although under a different user name. I thought this core deficit in autism was common knowledge so I feel really distressed at people having a go because I haven't said something that I assume they already know.

It's all so confusing.

But the actual problem is that I need to tell my sister the truth about my parents wedding anniversary. I see that now. The prospect however fills me with absolute terror. I've composed a short factual message but I'm too scared to send it. I want to run away from it all. Lots of people on that thread were accusing me of being a drama llama which really worries me and makes me want to do my usual thing of retreating into my cave and cutting off my contact with the outside world, which they also had a go about. I don't understand how wanting to hide away from scary or hurtful situations is seeking drama. It's the only way I know to protect myself.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2331414-to-boycott-my-parents-30th-anniversary?msgid=53148460

OP posts:
HopSkipCrash · 15/03/2015 00:54

Tel us the rest.of the.story about your relationship with your parents. I suspect that is just the tip of the iceberg.

VisitTheInfidel · 15/03/2015 08:57

It's hard because I can't sort it into coherent thoughts. Everyone who knows them thinks they're wonderful and I'm lucky to have such kind thoughtful parents. I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe.

Like when I was struggling with applying for disability support and went to CAB. My mum used to be a manager there and the people I saw kept telling me that the best person to get help from was my mum as she knows more than the rest of them put together. They didn't believe me when I said she wouldn't help me and sent me to them instead. I know for a fact that she goes out of her way to help everyone else, filling out forms and going to meetings with them.

Or on that thread some people told me off for not speaking to them for 6 months and seemed shocked by that. But if I don't contact them we'd never speak. I live about two and a half hours away. In the 8 years I've lived here my dad has been to visit once and my mum twice. She rings me once every 4-6 months. Anything more than this has to come from me. So if I don't bother there's no contact. Yet when she was here for a week I saw that she rang my sister every day and was constantly texting her.

I don't understand really. Although I suspect they just don't like me as nobody else does. But I don't why because I'm not a horrible person.

OP posts:
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