new man confused!!

[xoxoemzxoxo]

So i have been dating someone i met online for the past 3 months we see each other regularly at least once a week. We do couple things i have met his parents and friends and he has met mine. We are yet to spend the whole night together and have sex. We have done other stuff just not that yet. He has told me that he has fallen for me and that he likes everything about me. so last night i basically offered it to him on a plate but he turned me down because i had said i had wanted to wait until we were an official couple and we arent yet. I am so confused i thought that we were a couple as we do everything a couple would except the sex!! Please help any advice is appreciated!!

Meeting the parents and saying you two are not officially couples is very confusing. I thought meeting the parents only occurs when a couple are serious with each other ...unless they still live with their parents.

After three months, and him saying that, I think he just may not be into you. Unless he is super religious

How old are you? You sound quite young from the tone of your post.

Frankly, I would be very very suspicious of a man who says he is "into you" and then doesn't want to have sex when (as you say) it is "offered on a plate" for the reasons you give.

If one or both are you are virgins, there may be a legitimate reason to want to wait - particularly if a more experienced partner wants to make sure it is "right" or "special" for someone having their first sexual experience.

Equally, if it is a first time and the option offered is not ideal (in terms of privacy or comfort) -ie. in a car as both your parents are home - then that may be a fair enough reason to want to wait.

Beyond that, to me it smacks of controlling behaviour - using sex as a control mechanism - and is a bit of a red flag.

If you are saying you feel confused, that is itself a BAD sign.

I would be suspicious that he may have some problems in the bedroom that he is not admitting to.

So he turned you down because you said you wanted to wait until you were officially an item? Perhaps you should wait until you are officially an item then and start playing a bit more hard to get? Just a thought.

Is he religious? Could it be that he doesn't believe in sex before marriage? Or maybe he found your behaviour intimidating and was worried that he might not rise to the occasion so to speak. There are lots of possibilities and the only way you can find out is to talk to him. Good luck.

Thanks. We are both 27 and neither of us are virgins. I thought we had become an official couple due to things he has said yo me which was why I was willing to last night until he turned around and said we werent. He definitley wasnt intimated by me as he had already risen to the occasion!

He might have said things to you to indicate that you're an 'official couple' but have you returned the sentiment?

How about a conversation, where you say 'hey, I really like you, shall we be exclusive, what do you think?' and see how that goes.

He could have an erection and still be intimidated by you.

Sometimes men suffer from performance anxiety and are afraid of losing their erection. If its happened to him the past he might be worried about it happening again.

Either way, something is holding him back emotionally and physically and you need to find out what it is. You need to talk to him. Don't put pressure on him though or you might freak him out.