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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to know if our marriage is near expiry?

4 replies

40thisisit · 13/03/2015 20:57

So, we've been married 17 years, met 23 years ago and have 3 wonderful dd's (9,11&15).
He was my 1st proper relationship, I was always a bit of a geek at school and had no boyfriends. Not that that should be an issue.
I would say things had always been pretty ok up until about 5 years ago when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, don't get me wrong, things were horrendous and I would never wish what he went through on any-one. He did amazingly well through all his surgery and treatment and is now stable. To cut a long story short we now have to both work fulltime to make up the loss in his salary through his illness.
Not sure if this is the cause for our problems but we now just either ignore each other or argue all the time. I can't seem to do anything right in his eyes and he is very moody and unsupportive.
Recently he has started swearing at our girls for no reason when he gets home from work. He says work is fine so I don't think this is the cause of his moods. I can't even remember when we were last intimate.
Are we just going through the stresses of modern life or have we both just given up?

OP posts:
Balders74 · 13/03/2015 21:11

Maybe he needs some counselling after having a close brush with a terrible disease. He may have lots of unresolved emotions regarding what happened. I would suggest he goes to see your GP for a chat.

It is awful living like this & it may be a mixture of things but helping him may start you on the road to recovery.

Hopefully he will be up for getting some help.

33goingon64 · 13/03/2015 21:37

Yep sounds like depression following his illness.

40thisisit · 13/03/2015 21:56

Good point, thank you

OP posts:
ilikebaking · 13/03/2015 22:23

Marriages don't expire, you promise, for life. End of.
He does sound like he is struggling, you need to find out why.
Yes, it will be hard.

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