have n/c as i'm almost embarrassed i can't make a decision on this.
my and dp have been together for 6 years. due to our work and my dd we haven't made the leap to one of us moving yet. it will be me and we have spoken about this and saw it in the next year.
we have a deal through my work that we can get our phones service at a very reduced tarriff. he wanted this and has worked effectively for the last 18 months in a contract.
With one small issue being a print out bill arrived atmy address of our phone calls. i have told him how i opened it but i value trust and privacy and wouldn't look through. i asked the phone service to only send the actual bill online with no call details to me. All was fine. But i know at times dp would have joked that i could keep and eye on him.
this does offend me and worry me, but i can see his point and have always told him how trust in a relationship to me is very important.
I know dp has had trust issues in the past, both in professional and private life. i know this has lead to him being reserved about making decisions now in his life. I accept that, we work well at solving problems together and i feel since he has met me that i am an important person in his life to bounce ideas off and support him. i valued this.
the contract is up now and 3 weeks ago i asked him if he wanted to renew it the same. he told me he'd have a think. this is him all over, so i didn't take much notice. but as the time grew nearer i asked again. he said he hadn't thought about it. twice more i asked and got same answer.
this morning he said he wouldn't be renewing as he didn't want to be tied to the deal.
I immediately saw this as a red flag. work has recently been stressful for him and i know this has made him feel a little down. it has effected our fun side of the relationship but every relationship has a low at times. But this statement from him made me assume he didn't want to be tied to me.
i asked if this was the case and he said no. but inmy eyes it was clear. Why snuff a great deal if you'reintending to be still around in 18 months again.
so i put it to him that he was thinking this and that it was a reflection on our relationship and a sign that being tied down to something isn't what he wants. maybe he has no intention of it and just happy to go along, this was a wake up call for me. i immediately told him i had made a decision that i didn't wantto be with someone who felt this. i love him but utterly dissapointed.
he responded with a few answers as to why the phone deal might not be suitable. all in my eyes were waffle and then he said ok just put me on it.
i replied no. i refuse to be seen that i had to twist your arm. his own choice was he didn'twant it for whatever reasons and that we were over.
i am heartbroken and feel i was a little harsh, but surely this is a red flag and i'm with a commitment phobe or just doesn't want to have a future albeit 18 months.
i need help as i am doubting myself now and flip between being irrational as he calls it to protecting myself from a man who can't decide on simple things that SHOULD BE so obviously normal choice to make.