My husband and I have been married for 2 years, together 5. I'll start at the beginning!
Before we got engaged he was deleting spam emails and came across one from a webcam site saying account info. He said it was spam so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
About 5 months into our marriage, I was in bed dealing with our 8 week old baby and the TV was suspiciously loud, so went downstairs. He shut the laptop so quick, and said the TV was faulty! When he left the next morning to get his dad, I checked. He had been on the same website that he said was spam all that time ago. He had been sending personal messages to girls saying that he loved them and he would be happy if he could wake up next to them every day! We argued, he promised never to do it again.
I then noticed him spending a lot of time on his phone. Apparently messaging a lady friend he had dated years before but apparently never got serious. They would message first thing in the am and last thing at night, signing off as I love you with lots of kisses. Told him I was not happy with him doing this and he ignored me and continued. I eventually broke down and told him I was not happy with this and he laughed at me, saying it was nothing. He eventually told her to do one, showing me. But, he could still be messaging her! This went on for a good 4 years of our relationship. Called her a sl@g to see how he would react and he hit the roof.
Then, I see he has downloaded a load of apps on his phone that delete messages after being received. Says that he shares pictures with his mates.
I also came across a message he sent to a woman asking if he could send her his favourite tshirt and if she could take provocative pictures and return them!! Again the usual of 'I'd be the happiest man if I could wake up next to you every day'. Confronted him and he said it meant nothing. He wanted to make himself feel better. He has never met them in person.
He also said that he loves me, but he's not in love with me. next thing, he's sending messages to me saying how much he loves me.
He makes my skin crawl. He's almost 30 and acting in this way!
He won't give me access to money, says I have to ask when I want something. Got a 8k bonus, gave me 300 of it and blew the rest on God knows what! Can't tell me. Says I'm lucky he baths his daughter. He has brought up separation a few times but when I agree he backtracks saying I'm not taking his kids away.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. He says he wants to make it work. Why should I bother. I don't trust him. I don't want to be near him. I also feel like the bad person if I was to leave. We have 2 kids now, 2 and 6 months.
Any advice appreciated x