Confused?

[Isitmeagain]

i have been with Dh for 6years nearly married for 1! We went out and we started talking about our relationship and how I feel I've changed a lot since we first met (I had no confidence, was not very out going no real friends due to a prev relationship). I said something stupid about how I'm quite different to the person he fell in love with! I don't think it went down well but I didn't mean any thingbad! Any way this moved on and some how Dh managed to tell me I was aggressive arrogant and that I think I'm perfect! Well I was very shocked as I don't think I am any of those things and was very upset and he ended up staying at his mums for a couple of nights! He came back and we had a horrible week together with me saying I think we need some space as I couldnt. Believe someone who loved me would say those things! He then asked me if there was someone else!! There isn't! It just that after the things he said I started thinking about our relationship and we don't seen to have any emotional or physical connection any more the only time he comes near me is if he thinks he can get his leg over there are no hugs or kisses or handholding unless I ask!! We don't talk that much as when we do it seems we argue! I love him but not sure if I'm in love with him anymore! He has now been away for nearly 3werks and I've been quite happy with out him being around! Last night he said If we leave it any longer we won't be able to fix it problem is I'm not sure I want to so he said we should call it a day and even text me about divorce!!
Not really sure if I'm doing the right thing or not help please!

It sounds very much to me like you've swapped one abuser for another. Abusers will be threatened by any perceived strength you have and may well get you to stop by telling you its arrogance. Mine used to tell me what other friends had told him about me. They hadn't. He just wanted me back in my box.

Have you thought about doing the Freedom Programme?

I'm assuming you and DH don't have DCs. You both seem content to be apart, so maybe it is time to move on. Whether you do the Freedom Programme or not, it's a good idea to get to know yourself before you get into another relationship. Good luck!

If you've genuinely been happier these past weeks without him around, I think you have your answer.

Really i didn't think of him as an abuser he said he didn't mean it after?? I have a daughter from my relationship! She and my Dh get on really well!
I don't think he has been content he has said he wants to come back it's me that has said no I should of stated that!
Never heard of the freedom program will look in to it thank you!

So he was saying he like your old submissive (and timid) ways. Any other way is considered aggressive to him. That is, he doesn't like confidence , strong girls who speak her mind.

and as far as I am concern, he could be seeing someone

He doesn't normally say anything horrible to me I think that he said it was more suprising!
I don't think he is seeing someone he hardly goes out except to work I go out more then him!

A couple were having a heart to heart, they both say some upsetting things and now the DH becomes an abuser?

On the face of it, this seems a bit silly to throw away because you have both said things that have caused offence.

However, subsequently you seem to be getting on well and seem to be happy (ish) without your DH there.

Search deep down in those feelings, is this marriage what you really want, for the rest of your life?
If it is then call him back, get everything out in the open no matter how upsetting and see if you can kind of start over.

If not then it's time to call it a day and both go your seperate ways, don't waste anymore of each others times.

Good luck OP

I don't really think he is being abusive. I know he is honest with his thoughts. But still, it seem that the older and wiser you become, the more SOME guys don't like it.