relationship with DS/DD

[riab]

can't think where else to put this, but...

is there anyone else out there who doesn't feel this mothery/womanly/bond with their kids.
every time I talk to other mums or go on threads here on mumsnet they are full of thigns like 'Its different for me' 'I couldn't leave my Dear Children overnight' 'Of course once you are a mother your priorities change' 'My life before was so shallow and selfish'

I don't agree with or understnad any of those comments. My life before child was fine, I can easily go away from him for quite a while actually (and have done since he was 3 months - 2 night with GParents), I don't see why it should be different for blokes and I don't think motherhood confers some kind of sainthood.

So who agrees with the 'i can't leave my kids' stuff? is it real or are we just all fooling ourselves because it would be too scray to admit the reality, life with kids sucks 80% of the time.

Who has the guts to say they are't enjoying this?

I'd go fairly bananas without a night out now and again (well, at least one a week). DS mostly gets looked after by his dad (who doesn't live with us but is a good dad and an ace free babysitter) or about once a month by my parents. The longest I've left him has been around 48 hours when away on work trips, and towards the end I do find myself missing him lots - but a week later I'm raring for another trip to Grownupworld.
Two things: we are, after all, raising kids to be able to grow up and away from us
and it's not healthy to live your life as nothing but an appendage or a facility for other people.

i couldnt leave my dd2(age 10 months) overnight BUT she was very ill when she was 2 weeks old and i dont like letting her out of my sight unless shes with dp.my eldest 2 used to go away with their father for 3/4 nights at a time and i used to really enjoy the peace and freedom to do what i wanted for a few days.they went away with my mum for 9 days in the summer(they are 7 and 8 now)and i felt so guilty cos i didnt really miss them.
ive often wished i could just go out without giving any of them a second thought like men seem to be able to do!

thank god its not just me! I'm looking forward to when he goes to school and also when he joins cub scouts etc and goes away on week lon summer camps!

(18 mo not sleeping at nights)

No, definiteley not just you. I am desparate for some time to do what I want to do without always having to think of my two. I can leave my two for a couple of days without missing them much and always enjoy my time away, in fact if my mum offered to have the two of them for a week so that we could go on holiday I would bite her hand off.

I honestly think that it would be better for both me and the kids if I worked part-time, as being here all the time I get bogged down with the daily routine and having nothing else in my life. I think it is important to get a balance so that maybe I could appreciate them more! Unfortunately until dd2 starts school don't see how this can happen.

I love time away from my two. I love them a lot but being a mum is not always rewarding - at least not for me. Its the hardest bloody job I have ever done in my life and the pay sucks. I have days when i honestly wish i hadn't bothered I wish I was a more maternal type who loved every minute and dreaded the end of the holidays when they went back to school but I'm not - in fact I am counting the hours

i am not maternal at all, but wish i was. youre not alone; i crave time away from my 2 and when i get even 5 mins to myself to wander round a shop , i love it! you just get so bogged down with all the domestic things and childrens' routines that it does get you down. Although i know mums whose kids are their whole lives and they have no interests of their own, i have no desire to be like this. i am sick to the back teeth of looking after children 7 days a week, i cannot wait to escape to uni!!!

oh amy me too! i just look at women strangly when they say at the ned of 6 weeks they miss their kids horribly when they go back to school!
I'm a SAHm because of finance and wanting DS to have some parental involvement, not cos i like it! I like kids but i find the whole baby/young toddler stage quite wearing. tbh I can't imagine ever enjoying spending 24/7 with anyone! i don't even like the idea of spending that much time with DP!

its nto all walks in the park or makign arty stuff, (want to shoot the authors of books that portray it like that)

if i didn't have to get up in the night, feed him, clean his smelly bum or deal with temper tantrums it'd be quite good fun!

Does it help when they can actually talk?

no,cos when they can talk,they can say 'i want' then even going into a shop becomes a nightmare and even trips to the supermarket alone seem like a treat!
i have friends who enjoy the school holidays...WHY???i say we should have summer camps like they do in america

i have to admit,i hated the baby/toddler stage with my older 2,but have enjoyed it more with the younger ones as i know its not going to get any better.i fully intend to send dd2 off to playgroup as soon as she's 2,though.thats the age where they start needing the company of other children and the stimulation of 'activities'.and i'd rather eat snot than do 'arts and crafts' with a 2 year old.