Hi all, I'm going to try and keep this short. I've been with partner for 3 years, he was an ex cannabis smoker which I knew but he had stayed clear of it for 2 years before we got together. As our relationship got further along, he got more Dependant on alcohol, he was an idiot when he drank and many of times I've told him he got far too drunk and had actually scared me, he stopped drinking altogether when he realized his body was caving in because if it. He seemed to be doing so well and I was truely proud of him and felt like my family was back on track. He took me to a posh restaurant for the first time in a long time due to us finally finding two baby sitters for our 2 little one. I was really enjoying myself and we ended up getting into a deep conversation when he said to me that he is going to start smoking cannabis again, I strongly disagreed with him as I'm dead against all drugs and will not let them near my children and he knows my feelings towards them all too well. We got home and he said he needs something as he can't deal with reality and needs a 'headon' and if he can't drink he needs to smoke once a month, I was absolutely devastated as he went off to get his weed. I cried my heart out as its a real big deal to me. The whole once a month thing certainly didn't last, he's smoked it every night since, even lending it off someone so is already getting into dept. I swore to him if he let's my children get effected by this it would be over but he said not to worry as he'd only do it in the nights and he isn't hurting anyone bcos we would be the only ones who knew about it. That also didn't last, he got up the other morning and smoked it before work, knowing that if he loses his job we get evicted from our home. I feel physically sick, we have two beautiful children, our youngest is only 3 months old and is our rainbow baby as last new years day I gave birth at 6 months pregnant whilst I was on my own at home with my son upstaires in bed and partner was out getting drunk, unfortunately my baby died as soon as he got to hospital and I suffered a very nasty hemmorage, we went on to have our little one who is perfect. Why is he doing this? I've been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder following what happened with losing our baby but I deal with reality bcos my kids give me the strength too, he's got it easy, I get up in the mornings, feed bath and dress our children, get my eldest off to school, come home and clean the whole house, do the washing and ironing whilst looking after our 3 month old, then get my eldest from school do the feeding again, get them both in their jamas ready for bed whilst its only me that wakes up through the night with our little one, whilst my partner gets up, goes to work and comes home to a bath run for him, clean clothes folded for him food cooking for him, so why is he doing this? I couldn't do more if I physically tried I'm exhausted mentally and physically, don't get me wrong my babies are worth it but partners just adding this and I don't need it. What do I do? This is breaking my heart and my partner knows it I feel lost :(