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Relationships

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Maybe we aren't compatible?

7 replies

Sazzle41 · 10/03/2015 19:45

My new BF is really lovely but very hesitant sexually. His idea of making the first move is to stroke my arm. Me being me the first time i didnt twig, let him do it for an hour then said why arent you kissing me? Previous partners were very experienced and confident that way,but not very nice people which is why they are ex.

When we are in bed he never speaks & i feel like he isnt really letting go/going with it. Then the other day he said while we were watching TV, that 'you dont like me touching your stomach do you?'. Well no, i have 10pounds there that just wont shift despite the other stone lost and i was a bit fed up he said it tbh. My ex's might have been womanising bastards but they had the brains to know which bits got best reactions when in bed and didnt push it on that one place/thing that doesnt.. Am i being unfair?

The thing is i dated someone very sexually shy before and when it got to the point of saying what i liked etc (after a good few months he was still very fumbling/awkward) i was called oversexed (I wish) & that was the end of that. This time we had a bit of sexting first so i thought things would be different/ok ...as we were both open about likes/dslikes etx.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/03/2015 20:07

Some people are inexperienced or clumsy and they get better with practise. Others are bone idle and selfish and never change. It all depends if you like him enough to endure the learning curve or not. If not, move swiftly on....

GoatsDoRoam · 10/03/2015 22:03

Well, he did pick up your cue about not liking your stomach touched, and checked it with you. So he's watching and clearly eager to learn what you like and don't like. That rules out selfish.

So: can you deal with clumsy and inexperienced?

SensationalGirl · 11/03/2015 04:25

It's not selfish to like experienced men, I personally wouldn't want to date a man who won't make it perfectly clear he wants to shag me. I also wouldn't date a man who was into swinging. A girl likes what she likes.

AuntieDee · 11/03/2015 04:29

Use it to mould him into what you want sexually :) Could be fun!

DrSethHazlittMD · 11/03/2015 08:54

Communicate! People aren't mind readers! Partners need to tell each other what they like, what they dislike. Makes life SO much easier then.

LadyBlaBlah · 11/03/2015 09:32

Sounds a bit like you are used to arseholes and you can't work out men who don't just 'get what they want'

CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/03/2015 09:34

I think there is a middle ground between 'arseholes' and 'sexually inept'... Hmm

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