Boring dp, dh or dw ..... how do you cope?

[sunsout]

My dcs and I find dh extremely boring. Dh doesn't seem to know how to engage with us. Only see him once a week now but still hard find things to talk or do with him! Are we unusual?

Are. You. A. Couple?

Don't see him with the children. Let him spend time with them without you there. They will find something to do. Stop talking about him in a negative way around the children, it's very bad for them to hear one parent putting the other down.

I'm not getting this at all, but it sounds like you are in some kind of weird no mans land - not a family and not separated. I can't honestly see how this is workable and appears to be at the root of your problems. Personally I think one or both of you needs to decide what you want from this slightly odd set up and whether you actually want to be together. Basically I'm still confused.

Hello Sun

Suggest dropping off the children twice a week at his house for a set amount of time

Suggest it is his turn to feed & entertain the children

If that means he takes them out for meals so be it

Entertainment doesnt have to cost much, a walk to the play ground in the local park, feed the ducks at local pond, kick a ball, watch a film together.

He needs to step up & take responsibility

How do people cope?

They get divorced and move on. If you do get divorced there's a good chance the kids will end up with a father figure in their lives. It won't be him though.

OP you're clearly not a native English speaker. Is your husband from the same culture as you?

As others have asked, are you a couple i.e. do you have sex, spend time together just the two of you, make joint plans for the future?

Does he have another woman, would you be open to a relationship with another man?

Sounds like you need to get some decent legal advice and move on.

What's wrong with him reading if the kids are watching kids tv?

Jessie legal advice s expensive.

It's pretty essential for getting divorced nickname. And where does OP say she is poor?

It does look like a very unresolved situation.
He still sounds like a sort of partner, and you expect something of a partner when he does go round once a week.

I would suggest that the takes the kids to his every other weekend to spend all the time with them. So that he feeds them, deals with them and has to engage with them, even if he is not too keen on what they do.
And he stops camping at your place and fakes being a dad because you are there.
It may take time for all to adjust but I think it's worth in the long run.

Or are you expecting things to change?