Mothers Day presents for the woman who hates everything?

[SaucyJack]

What do those of you with difficult/negative mums do on Mothers Day?

My mum doesn't drink alcohol or eat refined sugars or hydrogenated fats (at least not when anyone's looking) and likes to put on a bit of performance about it given eighth of a chance so chocolate/wine is out. If I buy flowers I'll get a big lecture on how she could've paid the phone bill with that money. She's not into pampering/her appearance so bath products are out. Anything like a book will be greeted with a massive whinge on how she's far too busy working for a living to waste time reading.

I could take her out, but I won't because she's even ruder in front of an audience.

Fiver in a blank envelope? Cards are no-no. (She would've had to work half an hour wiping pooey bottoms to pay for it yadda yadda)

What do the rest of you do? Do you give into the FOG or just leave it?

Allstoppedup, you need to pre-empt your mum. When you walk in the door next time say, "Only 25 more visits to go, Mum!" If she scowls, say, "You have written your Will, haven't you? Just in case it's not 25."

Get her a one way ticket to...well anywhere, really.

Voucher and homecard card sounds like a good plan. Maybe you could write her a poem????

I was going to give you flowers
But then I had a thought
You'd just moan on for hours
Whatever the hell I bought

I thought of chocs; its hard
Coz you don't want that crap
So here's your poxy card
Now shut your bloody trap

Blether That is an amazing idea! I love it!

Waiting I think you have a future with Hallmark!

Give her a hug, say "happy Mother's Day" and put the kettle on?

Go to a flower shop and buy the prickliest cactus you can find. Hand it to her with a hand-written label that says "The moment I saw this I thought of you!". If it doesn't make her laugh you're no worse off.

I am wondering SaucyJack if your mother is actually a devoted grandmother to your children at all particularly given her own attitudes towards you.

My mother does not like mothers day thankfully but this is what I would write in a card to a difficult prickly mother or mother in law:-

"Mum (or MIL), thanks for teaching me about boundaries by never observing any".

What would happen if you just didn't get her anything? She's making it pretty clear she doesn't want anything - but is that mainly so she can complain that you didn't get her anything?

If it's any consolation OP, my hypochrondriatic and money obsessed father has informed me that he only has 6 years left to live.

Whenever he mentions this my response is, 'good! Only XXX months before the will's read out then!'

I wouldn't buy your mother anything and when she asks why you haven't, I'd say, 'because you're so ungrateful whenever I do bother with you.'

No, she is a good GM Attila. The grand kids are her pride and joy.

She's not actually badly intentioned person at all. She's just tired and stressed and bitter, but she's never learnt to deal with it in an adult manner and it's me and my brother who cop it in the neck.

She's more like a stroppy teen than some sort of controlling narc matriach type.

I too share your pain. In same predicament. Find it hard to buy a card. None of them say "you know how I feel" which is what I really want to say!!

Hi SaucyJack,

re your comment:-
"She's not actually badly intentioned person at all. She's just tired and stressed and bitter, but she's never learnt to deal with it in an adult manner and it's me and my brother who cop it in the neck. She's more like a stroppy teen than some sort of controlling narc matriach type".

Most people do get tired and stressed on occasion but that is no excuse or justification for her years of moaning.

It seems that your mother never sought the necessary help but has lumped you both with her behaviours instead. Its not good at all, really it is not. Does your brother have any sort of relationship with her these days?. I also think you have been more than charitable here with regards to her, many people would have walked away from her by now. BTW do you know anything at all about her own childhood, what was that like?.

Am glad her grandchildren are her pride and joy but it will do them no favours at all to see her disrespecting you like this.

It is NOT your fault she is like this; that damage was done to her many years ago and not by you or your brother.