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Original poster

Lacking time/opportunity for sex?

23 replies

polomino · 09/03/2015 08:48

Just looking for some advice because I'm concerned about this.

Have been with my partner since last Jan. It's a good relationship I think, we are very compatible and he makes me really happy.

I had some medical issues within a few months of us getting together which meant sex was pretty much off the menu for some time. He was really good about that, and we got through it.

That's all sorted now, well sufficiently that we can have sex again. However now we never seem to get the opportunity more than once a week - my DC are always here when we're at mine, which in itself isn't an issue as we can be quiet but my headboard bangs and squeaks as soon as you even move in the bed. We tried taking off the headboard but then the bed squeaks too! We can't use the living room as the downstairs of my house is open plan and my DC aren't little ones.

We spend more time at mine than my partners because of my DC, normally we get one night a week where we're either at his, or at mine with no DC, which isn't ideal. For the next couple of weeks as my DCs dad is away on holiday we won't even have that. What do other people do in this situation?

OP posts:
Sortmylifeout · 09/03/2015 08:50

Use the bedroom but not the bed?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/03/2015 08:53

If your DCs aren't little ones and you don't live in a place big enough to have private annexes then I think you have to risk them hearing that Mum has a sex life.... Early night for everyone and warn them that there might be (as Homer and Marge put it) 'snuggling'. :)

iwantgin · 09/03/2015 08:55

Put the duvet on the floor and do it on the floor.

I used to have a terribly squeaky bed.

LineRunner · 09/03/2015 08:56

Sort your bed out? The screws (fnarr) probably need tightening - or it will be a similar simple DIY job.

Or get a new bed. I would.

SensationalGirl · 09/03/2015 09:06

My dh won't have sex while the kids are in the house so I feel your pain. Luckily he's home sometimes while the kids are at school so we do it then.

Are they old enough for sleepovers? What about a nice sheepskin rug on the floor? You can pretend you're in a porno.

The one thing I'd do is fix the bed. Problem solved.

Joysmum · 09/03/2015 09:10

If the headboard bangs and speaks then put towels behind it.

Joysmum · 09/03/2015 09:11

*squeaks! A speeding headboard is creepy!

Joysmum · 09/03/2015 09:11

*speaking! I'm done Blush

Original poster
polomino · 09/03/2015 09:12

It's a fairly new bed. It's not the screws or anything, we've both checked, it just seems to be the way it's made. You don't notice if you just sit or lay on it, but any backwards and forwards motion produces loud and pretty much constant squeaking.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeanie · 09/03/2015 09:18

What a design fault. I would get rid of it tbh. Maybe put slatted bases on the floor with mattress on top.
Or get creative elsewhere in the house.

VinoTime · 09/03/2015 09:25

Make use of walls, floors, the shower, the kitchen worktops and invest in a different bed.

LineRunner · 09/03/2015 09:35

If it's fairly new it's not fit for purpose and I'd want my money back.

LineRunner · 09/03/2015 09:37

And apologies for managing to convert sex into a consumer rights issue. Grin

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 09/03/2015 09:42

Put a duvet on the bedroom floor?
It's quite early on to have a boyfriend staying over isn't ? 2 months in...

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 09/03/2015 09:43

Unless you meant January a year ago...in which case ignore me.

ivykaty44 · 09/03/2015 09:44

Wd40

SensationalGirl · 09/03/2015 09:45

What about lying sideways? So your head and feet are facing the edges.

Can you tell your kids you're just having a pillow fight? The squeaking noises are just mummy winning.

deplorabelle · 09/03/2015 12:38

Wd40 will give you very pungent fumes for quite a while. Try baby oil or cooking oil first (bitter student experience talking Smile)

Original poster
polomino · 09/03/2015 12:42

Not sure if there's room on the floor (my bedroom isn't that big and has huge fitted wardrobes which make it smaller) but it's worth a try!

Bed is about 18 months old, so still new to me (it replaced one that was 20 years old!) I don't think I can take it back and certainly can't afford to replace it for a while. It seems to squeak whatever angle we're at.

And sorry I should have made it clear, since Jan 2014, not this Jan. He didn't ever stay over til more than 6 months in Smile

OP posts:
LineRunner · 09/03/2015 13:11

My Hot Builder fixed my bed for me. It's like the rock of Gibraltar now. Mind you, he did have a vested interest.

Did you assemble it yourself, OP? You may need to dismantle it and start again. Something is loose somewhere, I'd hazard a guess. All lovers deserve a good bed. It's the law of lurve. Smile

NeedABumChange · 09/03/2015 13:39

What about in the shower?

NamesNick · 10/03/2015 14:26

I get that you want to have sex. But there are more ways to skin a cat...

dp and I often meet in the coat cupboard for a quickie Grin

JessePinkmansHoody · 10/03/2015 14:35

Just to add.. once a week sex really isn't all that little.. It also keep it's fresh and allows you both to want it more. And it doesn't make you a bad mother to have a babysitter/family member over and stay at his sometimes

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