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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

marriage breakdown

4 replies

anna5454 · 08/03/2015 12:28

lost and lonely

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 08/03/2015 12:33

hugs xxx

anna5454 · 08/03/2015 13:02

ive been married for 32yrs, there has been alot of ups and downs as in most families, ive got three grown up children and grandchildren and if not for them i dont know how ive managed to last this long in such a sad relationship.i blame myself for being so weak and unable to stand up for myself,i was always brought up to respect people and be loving and caring. maybe thats been my downfall.Instead of facing up to my problems and asserting the issues i just carried on thinking that possibly things may get better.Im no angel in all this because ive used my anger and insecurity to get through and all thats acheived in lack of respect towards me from my husband and kids,no one takes me seriously anymore because they know my heart strings can be easily pulled in any situation, im very much a push over, even when im in the right.looking back at the start of our marriage i was very much in love. but theres no spark anymore we dont talk, no physical contact or togetherness. we just go through the motions of existing on a daily basis and it gets really lonely. now its getting harder to face eveyday,knowing that its gonna be exactly the same as the day before. and if you were to ask me the question why dont i do something about it?, well thats my problem, im stuck, no job no savings,i have no self esteam, and feel i couldnt fit in anywhere and im not worthy of even living, so where do i go from here.But i wouldnt do anything stupid because i love my family but i dont know which way to turn and nobody to turn to, because they are so negative about life.so at least i can share my feelings discreetly with you all which helps to talk without any hassle.so for now have a good day and thankyou for letting me share my broken life.

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 08/03/2015 13:12

Reading that was almost as if id written parts of it myself. No spark, conversation, intimacy or closeness. I do know how you feel and I also just plod along as my self esteem is zilch thanks to abusive parents. Ive got no friends or family around me so I know how you are feeling xxx

CogitoErgoSometimes · 08/03/2015 14:11

I'm sorry you're so down and having such a bad time of it. It makes life so much more difficult when you lose your confidence and self-esteem. It's hard enough ending a relationship at the best of times. After 30+ years of being ground down and unhappy it's not surprising if you think you don't have options and if you're unmotivated.

I'm interested when you say you have used your 'anger and insecurity' and that this makes you no angel. What kind of situation are you describing? Are you an angry person generally outside of the home or are you saying you are goaded and provoked?

Finally, I'd point out that if you're depressed and even half-heartedly contemplating suicide as a solution you should probably talk to your GP. Be honest with them about your circumstances and see if you can be referred for personal counselling.

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