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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why does he feel so entitled??

30 replies

Balders74 · 07/03/2015 00:30

Am just amazed at the utter cheek of the man. He has spent the last 4 years not paying for anything while he lay on the sofa built his business.

We split 8 weeks ago & he has not moved out because he is a stubborn bastard had no where to go & couldn't afford it. He has now been accepted to rent a house & just needs to go & sign the tenancy. I found this out by being sneaky & he doesn't know that I know. So I asked him earlier if he has heard about the house & he said no!! Blatant lie. I don't want to force the issue because he will dig his heels in & I'm worried about what he'll do just to spite me.

When I went to see a solicitor she said we should separate our finances so I stopped paying his credit card which he had decided should be £200 pm!! The other day he announces that he is not paying it all this month because I have used it in the past. I pointed out that the reason I had used it was when we needed food or petrol & he was not providing. He said he can't move out & pay the credit card. The £200 is not the minimum amount & it is in his name. I am not paying his damn credit card.

A few weeks ago I changed the wifi password & he accused me of trying to sabotage his business because he could use his computer at home. So I gave him the password. I have 2 wifis, a standard one which is quite slow & a fibre one that is fast but has limited download allowance & is expensive but paid for through my business for work. I gave him password to the slow one. So tonight he has asked me for the password to the fast wifi. I said no you already have access to the other one, he was not happy.

He is living here for free but seems to feel that he is entitled to whatever he demands. Enough already, get the fuck out of my house & go & find out what the real world is like.

Sorry, rant over. It is like living with a spoilt brat.

OP posts:
mummymeister · 07/03/2015 17:12

why take the dd if not to hurt her? honestly you are so well out of this. try and talk to your DD alone. explain that sometimes adults are manipulative and that you have to see this through. its all about you and your kids now. forget him.

Balders74 · 07/03/2015 17:25

I think he took her so she would tell me he had done it. In the past he has used her to send messages to me. I told him to stop.

We have had a chat & she is ok now. I think it just all too much & very real. She has wanted this for so long & now it is actually happening.

I now need confirmation that I can change the locks once he has gone.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/03/2015 08:16

Your dd is probably feeling some of what you are feeling OP. She is scared of him, wants him to go but at the same time she feels sorry for him and loves him. It is confusing for an adult, never mind a child.

But she will be ok as long as you reassure her that this is what is best for everyone - him, you and her - in the long run. You will live calmer, happier lives and she can still see her dad, she can still love him and you fully support her x

cottageinthecountry · 09/03/2015 08:42

I wonder if he took her with him to sign the tenancy agreement so that he can pretend that she will live with him, in the hope that you will pay for her maintenance under his roof?

I wouldn't put it past him. He sounds really nasty, you need to be really smart. Let him think he's got the upper hand but make damn sure he hasn't. Get everything recorded, by diary, reports to the police, leave a phone recorder on.

cottageinthecountry · 09/03/2015 08:44

Try to find a book about emotional abuse for your daughter to look at.

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