Friends and relationships

[loveyoutothemoon]

I've not been able to get close to new friends for several reasons, being let down lots etc.
Really disappointed as a new friend is acting strange. Get on really well in person. She used to like all my facebook pictures but hasn't for quite a few months. We went swimming together the other day and I mentioned it within general chatting and she said she meant no harm. A few other friends have repeatedly said they want to meet up but when it gets nearer the time they back out. When we meet, we always have a great time and I'm a happy grounded person. Anyone have any advice please?

I think you have to keep casting the net and seeing what you get. Some people want a more arms-length, 'acquaintance' friendship than others.... not a lot you can do about them. Some would love a closer relationship but life gets in the way. With that sort you can sometimes improve things by finding ways to make meeting up easier. The whole Facebook liking or not liking thing is a bit of a minefield. (I rarely 'like' anything anyone posts and I'm now wondering if they think I'm a total bitch!!!) Wouldn't take it personally.

Ive been let down really bad and hurt by close friends and family in the past. I now find that I 'try to hard' with people and scare them off. Well thats what im sure happens with me

I think I wouldn't question a friendship in whether or not Facebook posts or pictures are liked or not. I sometimes like and sometimes don't, it doesn't bear any weight on the friendship.

Cogito is absolutely right, most friendships are more like acquaintances, arms length, sometimes hook up, no big deal if it falls through.

You need to keep looking and not use things like Facebook as a measure of a friendship. I have a very tight circle...loads of arms length friends, and two with whom I would trust my life....it took me 35 years of net casting to find those two!!

People will come in and out of your life all the time, if they end up being a great friendship, it will happen, and happen easily. I'm not saying friendships don't take work, but good friendships happen (mostly) without much effort from both people, and other than being there for each other, no expectations.

I understand but I think sometimes we have to take risks.
You will know after a month if someone is genuine or not.
IF they are they are a gem and worth keeping if not keep your distance.
Relationships are hard work even friendships I have found out it takes approximately seven years of hard work and patience to get to know someone really well. But you both have to keep on making the effort.