I feel so sad for my children

[Schnullerbacke]

I'm just having a wobble and need to vent.

Things are not good. On the verge of telling him I want out, well, after he stated he no longer wants me to do anything for him - from cooking to washing. Great, right? But not if it means we don't eat totgether anymore and the kids will cotton on that something is up.

Anyway, we are civil and as far as I can tell, DDs (8 and 6) don't really know that something is badly wrong. And I look at them and my heart breaks. These poor innocent souls, soon probably having to deal with all the shit a divorce entails. They didn't ask for this when they were born. In their own little happy work they have a Mummy and Daddy and soon they won't have that anymore, well, not together anyway. This is what breaks my heart more than anything else.

I was fcuked up from divorce and it's the last thing I wanted for them. Please tell me they'll be ok....

I'm sorry for you. I am going through similar & feel heart sorry for my children. They don't know yet (am wanting him to be 100% sure first) though am dreading it, and he seems determined to do this.

I am going through the same too. The thought of splitting up our family and how the children won't have the family life I envisaged breaks my heart.
However. I have left for a reason. And hopefully the children will have two happier parents for it. Believe me, they will already know your family life isn't ideal. The things my son (4) has said since I've left about mummy and daddy shouting, not liking each other etc made me realise this.
If I knew how to send you the flowers icon, I would!

Hope you're ok.
Not in the situation but my parents split when I was about 5/6 and I don't remember it at all. Even though my mum has since told me that my dad wasn't very nice to her, and even had friends round drinking until the early hours while she was trying to get me to sleep. I don't remember any of it at all and I'm sure you're doing your best for them not to click on to anything either.
I always saw my dad regularly (every weekend) and had 2 happy parents, so I was none the wiser to anything that had gone on previously.
As I got older my mum has always maintained that "he's a great dad but was just a sh*t husband!".
Being a dad and a husband aren't always connected. You might both work better apart. You'll have a better frame of mind, and possibly so will he.
Don't see it as "breaking up a family" as that's only a word that people on the outside probably see you as.
Family is something you have to feel too, and it sounds like you both don't anymore.
Sorry that you're going through this and hope you can get something sorted

Looks like lots of us are in the same boat (: lots of hugs to everyone too. I suppose I could have lived with being friends, rather than lovers but the whole cooking and eating alone, that really struck a cord. My parents didn't talk for months at a time and it felt really shit. I don't want that for my kids.

I suppose life had to throw a curve ball at some point. Its been going far too smooth so far. Onwards and upwards.

Your parents didn't talk for months at a time? By living with him but not WITH him you'll end up exactly the same. This isn't the life you hoped for or planned, it'll be a different life. Not worse or better, just different. Hard to believe but the DCs will be happier.

Why were you fccked up from divorce ?
What made it that way ?
What was it about the way your parents divorced that ruined it ?

And how can you make your divorce different ?
Your dc srtill have a mum and dad. This could be a. Right new start no arguments to live with etc.

Get help from relate or other counsellor to divorce well. Find a parenting together apart course near you .
You can do it differently and better