Odd reaction from friend

[FeelingHurtAndABitConfused]

For a long while now I feel my friend uses me. When I really need to all about something that has upset me (rare) or talk about a film or political issue etc she isn't interested. Friend will start shouting at her dog, open her post and saying 'ooh look at what I have received today',.

I find that rude of her.

Ironically my friend rants and raves to me of almost every single detail of her life everyday and I politely listen.

She has a lot of problems stemming from her abusive childhood.

A few weeks ago her DD needed a lift from her Sisters physically violent Husband. Only a few nights before he had beaten up my friends Sister nd friend had ranted on about him but then friend let her DD go in the car with him, (she was also present in car). I did say I wouldn't go near him if he was my BIL.

Today I went for a coffee with a new acquaintance ad she grilled me for ages about why my DS doesn't have contact with his Father. He doesn't want to was my reply.

Today I called my friend and said I had felt judged and friend said I am too easily offended and high maintenance and look how I'd judged her when she needed a lift from her BIL. .

My friend gossips about and puts don her other friends to me and I strongly suspect she says things of me too.

But fed up of this one sided friendship but I have no family or any other friends.

Nobody to call and chat to bout his, hence me being here.

I hope this makes sense.

It feels so petty but her labelling me as high maintenance and easily offended with the way she carries on is offensive.

Sounds like deep inside she knows you are right and hates it. Was her grilling you getting back at you because you told her to she should stay away from her BIL?

You don't like her and don't gain anything from this friendship. So why spend any time with her?

:(

Do friends tell each what they rink of each other and issue labels of their ways and personality? Is that th norm? Am I being OTT over this? My friend feels I am high maintenance because I hv morals and principles and she lets others walk over her, her mother was a prostitute, her ex a violent alcoholic, nobody in her life aside from myself and one neighhbour is lawful. I don't judge her for this but sh judges me for not being like they are?

I'm just me!i'm no better or worse than her but she hasn't had good role model and meeting me has shocked her as she says sh trusts me and hasn't trusted anybody for along time.

Why should be labelled like this? I feel hurt.

The new acquaintance grilled me not friend.

No and let her know you feel hurt. If she continues, then find yourself a better friend.

Sorry, for some reason i thought she was with you.

I guess I need to end this friendship. It's not good for me.

I'll have nobody again. :(

Join some activities where you can meet new people.

I'm a Mother and at home at night, no money for babysitters.

:( are there any local mommy groups nearby? Sometimes I take my 2 years old to a kiddie gym and I meet other mothers there.

My DS is 16 and profoundly disabled. Feeling really shit tonight. Crying. Feeling so angry at being labelled by her. If I'm so high maintenance and eaily offended why would I be her friend???

You need to cultivate new friendships. I know it can be difficult but you need to try new groups, maybe find a hobby, to widen your circle of friends. Relying on one friend with a skewed idea of how any kind of relationship works is a going to be a disappointment at some point.

So both new acquaintance and existing friend have upset you today?

Look, after saying you don't judge, your post does come across as quite judgy and it's pretty clear that you don't really even like your friend.

There's obviously some payoff for you in being friends with her but whatever it is, it isn't particularly healthy.

Perhaps scrap both existing friend and new acquaintance and start again.

What friend said is untrue. The way she delivered her statements of me was spiteful and aggressive.

I can see where you are coming from OP. Seems your friend is in competition with you and would like to be more like you. Sounds like she admires you and/or feels intimidated by you and therefore puts you down to make herself feel better.
It all seems very unhealthy, and you telling her about your new acquaintances remarks her the ammunition she needed to put you down yet again. Not nice at all, she does not have a generous personality.

Maybe get a new pet/new hobby and lose yourself in it...anything to distract yourself. I'd rather have an animal/bird and or my own company than put up with her attitude.
Is the new acquaintance ok...apart from her curiosity regarding your sons father? Can you give her a second chance...or not?

I dumped a 20yr friendship 4 years ago after years of crap. I'd tell a joke and she'd be "don't try to be funny Sent. You're not funny" she'd talk about how fat people are stupid and lazy right to my face (guess my weight), I fed my children constant junk (so not true), questioned my parenting while she was blind drunk and looking after her toddler and basically called my now dh a pedophile for getting involved in a single mum.

The killer was the time I went off to get pizza for our lunch and she drank an entire bottle of wine while my 3yr old was in her care. I never saw or spoke to her again and it feels absolutely amazing.

You'll feel lonely for a while but it will force you to get out there and meet new people. You'll never look back and regret dumping a crap friend I promise.