Long time lurker and I have NC as this will out me.
There is a significant celebration within my family quite soon a year of them to be frank.
Last year my mother and I had an argument and we have basically had little or no contact since. My mother expects an apology and when we have spoken/met she has been vindictive and nasty. To give some background; in the past when we have argued, DH and I have gone to see her to sort things out. What this basically amounted to, was my mother tearing strips off me and reducing me to tears to gain some kind of vengence.
Whilst growing up, I was repeatedly told 'I love you but I don't like you' and I hope when you have children they are as difficult as you....I wasn't a teenage tearaway, l studied hard and met DH when I was very young. I was still criticised, just because I happend to stand up for myself and was fiery. My mother is controlling and if she feels aggrieved will attack. I also have a sister, who was never told 'she was loved and not liked' etc and who is the complete opposite to me. She is passive/aggressive and allows our mother to take over....she doesn't drive so my mum picks/drops her off to work, shopping etc and she took DN to parties etc.
This argument wasn't any different to the others, in the sense of choice words said on both sides. The difference being, that DH and l are wanted to change things. DH was fed up still is at how she really effects my self esteem and I refused to be continually punished for any minor indescrestion.
My DF, grandmother have got involved to ask me 'to resolve it' and told me she expects an apology. I said that as far as I am concerned 'we should draw a line under it' and move on..
So, in regards to this celebration DH and I have said we would go. However, we have since found out that there is a table plan ok and that bascially we are sitting with the children not the adults 
. We did say that if it would be easier we wouldn't go, but I was told 'call her, let her have her say and rant...and then decide'...... I pointed out that I have called her during this time of virtual NC and she is only interested in being goady and vindictive! It's like my DF and DG are only interested in appeasing her. Just to add there have been other celebrations since and she has: ignored me fine, ignored our DC, made a point walking away at greetings/goodbyes (my DG actually cried out of shock) and has been rude to the point that DH nearly had to ask her to leave our home.
Wwyd?
Go and call? Go and not call? Or not go at all?
I do not want to call, especially to appease her so she gains vengence...ie, makes herself feel better but brings me down. Since this time, I have actually felt more confident and realised that in the past I would dread any time with her....so would avoid it as much as possible!
Thank you for reading and sorry for the length.