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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

It's definitely over now

7 replies

Cassawoof · 04/03/2015 13:53

My DH told me he didn't love me anymore about 6 months ago, moved out 4 months ago, but has been dithering. But I've been told this morning that it is definitely over and he is happy he has made a decision. So that's my 10 year marriage over. I know I have to accept it.

No one else involved, he just doesn't want it come back to the life he had here. He knows the life he's going to isn't going to be great either. He just has no options apparently. No interest in trying to work things out with me. I'm just so sad.

OP posts:

TheoriginalLEM · 04/03/2015 13:58

its ok to be sad. but now is your time to rebuild a new life without him dragging you down.so be sadbut look toa brighter future

alwayslookingforsomething · 04/03/2015 14:21

You are going to feel sad for a while. It is a huge adjustment for both of you.

One day you will wake up and things won't seem quite so bad. Hard to see that now, I know

kayls2910 · 04/03/2015 15:01

I am going through a similar thing at the moment. DH left nearly 8 weeks ago to live with his parents. Has been saying he doesn't want to come home but then saying he doesn't know if he will in the future, still not sure if it is entirely over but my gut is telling me it is. It is just a horrible situation and at the moment I am struggling to see a day where I won't feel sad.

Original poster

Cassawoof · 04/03/2015 16:54

Sorry to hear that. Has he explained why? My DH is I think depressed, but I can't live with keeping hoping he might change his mind and waiting. So I suppose this stops that. Still hard though, I don't want any of this.

OP posts:

TheOldWiseOne · 04/03/2015 17:32

You have my sympathy as my DH walked out a month ago without saying anything ahead of time after 28 years if marriage. How disrespectful is that? To date he has not put forward any explanation other than he is "unhappy". ALL he thinks of is himself. You are young - be grateful for that. I am 60 this year. I know how you feel as I have such gut wrenching pain and fear in my stomach from the minute I wake in the morning.

kayls2910 · 04/03/2015 20:20

My DH just said he hasn't been happy for 6 months because of the way we are with each other i.e. Snapping at each other, not being as close etc. I'm still hoping he'll change his mind but on the other hand I want an end to the hoping, one way or another, it's horrible

Original poster

Cassawoof · 04/03/2015 20:53

We were both unhappy, but it seems to have been my responsibility to make him happy, which I have failed at, but not his to work out why I was unhappy. Not really taking any responsibility for his part in all this. But then who said it had to be fair. He wanted someone around to 'lift his spirits'.

I'm sorry you are both going through this. Unfortunately, I think once they make the decision they focus on the bad things to justify it rather than the positives. Mine certainly has.

OP posts:

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