Just had my 1st counselling session...

[LittleMilla]

...just unsure what I do/don't speak to dh about? Counselling is mostly to help me reconcile things from before our relationship, really. So don't want to go in to details. I'm sure I will at some stage, and he's not prying, just wondering what's 'normal'? if there is such a thing..?

Try googling 'itsgoodtotalk' - really useful site with info about counselling

I never discussed any of my counselling sessions with exh, but to be fair I did talk mostly about him!!

Try to focus on how you feel after the session rather than what was discussed. If it leaves you quiet and mulling things over, he needs to respect that and leave you to process. If you have a light bulb moment and want to share then go ahead.

I guess there is no "normal", they are your sessions and it's up to you whether or not you share, but maybe a conversation about him not asking anything other than "how did it go? Are you feeling ok?" might be useful.

Well done on taking the time to work on your self development.

Going through councelling process is going to take you on a journey. You may feel different emotions each week.
I think it all depends on what your relationship with DH is like and how much your past experience affected your relationship with him.
The good thing is that you want to explore it so in a way that is perhaps a sign of you feeling comfortable in your relationship with him.

If the counselling is mostly for your benefit at this stage, is it useful that he participates? - because it sounds like his presence is going to hinder your ability to be open and that rather defeats the object. Would it be easier if you had individual counselling where you can speak freely in order to resolve the historical problems that pre-date him and then have joint counselling afterwards once you feel more comfortable?

Counselling is a very personal and intimate thing. You are revealing yourself at your most vulnerable in sessions with a trusted therapist.
Don't share any of it with your husband, unless it feels completely comfortable and natural for you to do so.
If it doesn't feel comfortable, then don't do it.

Thank you for replies.

For the most part it really isn't about our relationship. Far more about why I struggle to parent in the way I'd like to (which links to my own childhood) and also why I still 'enjoy' (tho haven't acted upon) male attention.

DH knows about my challenging childhood and also more recent probs with my dad, which have prompted me to seek this help. I've simply told him I don't want our children to be broken in the same way I am. So am going to make sure I get 'fixed'! I do know that it's going to be a rocky road ahead tho!

Quite scared about what's ahead tbh. Many many things that I've locked away will have to come out. Just hope that I have some more peace with myself in doing it tho