tips on how to cope when still living in same house as ex hubbie

[conway]

Filed for divorce 6/12 ago.Still trying to sort finances out with our solicitors. we are still living in the same house and 2 boys age 9 and 13.
find weekends very hard especially on sunday's . My hubbie likes to cook at weekends for us but I hate sitting there trying to be nice.
Our boys don't know everything yet but my older boy has been difficult at times.
please tips on how to cope. The tension is driving me mad

Why the secrets and lies? The tension is a result of pretence. I think you should both sit down with the dc and explain the situations then divide up the time so you can spend as little time together as possible. Do you have separate areas for tv and separate bedroom?

I'm sure it isn't easy but the dc do have a right to know and are picking up bad vibes anyway.

If you can be civil to one another that's helpful and will help the time and activity splitting much easier but pretending things are normal sounds dismal.

we are in the same boat since ~November 2014~. Our DC are 3 and 5 and I would really like to explain to them but DP does not want to.

Anyway, we have just began splitting out days with the children as he cant cope seeing us all together and will get moody as a result.
I work shifts so usually were not in at the same time- he goes the gym on his way home from work and I go to bed early so miss him or go to a friends house.

Once a month I buy something small for my new house (hell knows when we will sell our house but it makes me feel like I'm doing something positive.)

I dream of a hot marine who visits me to take my mind off things - I think that is the only thing that would make this easy

You're trying to live a lie and that's where the tension is coming from. Why did you (or him) decide not to tell the kids? At their age they must surely know that something is up - hence the older boy's acting out maybe?

I feel for you, I tried to stay in the same house with my ex for 6 months and it was hell. However DS was aware of it from day one. He found it very upsetting of course but at least he understood that the way me and his dad had been acting towards each other was not the way that people in a marriage should be. And that when you are making each other unhappy, things have to change, even if that means the end.

yes,I do agree we need to tell the boys. Not looking forward to it but can't make anything worse.
Feel exhausted as having to go out of the house at weekends to get away from him , when I would much rather be in the house. He's agreed that I can have the house but he has not even started looking for somewhere yet.
He is very laid back so don't thing he will rush. Just hope it will be over soon