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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I looking for someone to blame? DH's depression

3 replies

granulatedhappiness · 02/03/2015 13:04

This is my first post on here. I don't have anyone to talk to about this so I really hope that somebody with experience of this can help me out.

My DH has been diagnosed with severe depression, is having therapy and is on ADs. We have a 6 yr old DD. He's a fantastic husband and dad - around DD he never shows that he's depressed.

Through therapy, he's been putting together his family history and his therapist believes that he's been "programmed" (her word) to believe that he's worthless, etc. I knew that my DH did not have a good relationship with his M but I didn't know how bad it was. We live very close to her. I feel that if it was me, I would not still be speaking to her but it's easy for me to say because I didn't go through what DH did. He says that he still feels like he has to defend her, even though she called him worthless, said he was as useless as his dad, etc. (His dad left when he was young. Because he wasn't paying maintenance, my DH's mum got my DH to tell his dad that unless he paid, he didn't want to see him. My DH obviously feels responsible for him leaving.)

Over the last couple of years, I stopped inviting MIL round because of broken promises to our DD. (I didn't even know there was such a thing as low contact until I started lurking here on Mumsnet!) She would promise to come round and see DD who would get v excited and then just not turn up, no text, no call, nothing. This happened numerous times. On one occasion we had arranged to get a pet for DD with MIL. Our DD had been looking forward to it all week and on the day MIL didn't turn up. When we got in touch with her, she said she was busy. I feel sad about this because outwardly she seems like a lovely person and I thought I had a good relationship with her. If I see her, I'm friendly towards her. I just don't want to set my DD up to be let down yet again.

I don't know if I'm just looking for someone to blame but after what my DH's therapist has said and what my DH has told me about how his M treated him, I'm incredibly angry with her. I don't want her to have anything to do with us. I feel that what she did was abuse but my DH seemed shocked when I told him this. Am I over-reacting? I might be able to forgive her but my DH says that she has never acknowledged what she's done. On the extremely rare occasions that the subject comes up, she just says how hard her life was and how difficult DH was. I don't think this is an excuse for treating a child like this.

Sorry this has ended up so long. I so want to help DH and don't have a clue where to start.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 02/03/2015 13:26

I would take your lead from DH in terms of how to proceed. Low contact seems a good solution.

I don't think you have to forgive her. Why should you? She's damaged her little boy in a way that is adversely affecting his and all your lives. She seems to have acknowledged this to some degree but instead of remorse she defended herself.so why the need to forgive.

I have a friend in her fifties in a very similar situation. Her toxic mother still makes her life a total misery every single day. Just try not to let that happen.Flowers

MisForMumNotMaid · 02/03/2015 13:54

The very best thing you can do you already are. Just being there and loving him.

My DH suffers from severe health anxiety (hypochondria). As we've slowly pulled back the layers he also has depression and anxiety.

Through counselling its come about that his mother was very abusive to him in childhood, particularly in early adolescence. She is not a coper (sorry spelling is not a strength of mine) and he is the eldest of four children.

The family became known to social services when he started secondary and a lot of pressure was put on him to be the adult in looking after the others. His dad worked very very long hours and wasn't around much, he was made redundant when DH was early teens, had very significant health issues thereafter and died when DH was just away at Uni.

DH had buried a lot of what went on and it was nearly thirty years later that he started to remember some of what happened.

As an adult, and parent of a four year old DD, step parent to an Autistic 11 year old and 9 year old, he can see how what was said to that little boy (him) was very wrong.

He's starting to see how its affected him significantly growing up. It stopped him having any real relationships until me just before turning 40. His brothers are all messed up to. One lives far side of world virtually no contact, one is a paranoid schizophrenic (mum covers up for some of his paranoid acts and is in parallel very scared of him, like violently attacking very elderly next door neighbours) one is virtually no contact. We are now fully no contact after paranoid brother did some things that resulted in him being sectioned then, restraining orders, court, and ultimately us moving areas.

Going no contact for us has been the biggest thing for DH. Out from under the shadow of gloom he grew up in, he's grown in self confidence, he is less anxious as a result, he is able to talk more freely about his life.

He did a course of mindfulness training which has helped him to better understand his triggers and reactions. He's also done cognitive behavioural therapy which has helped him understand and take more responsibility as an adult for his own actions.

Its quite funny in a way. He's become much stronger and where he would never argue before, just get defensive and dismissive, he's learning to enjoy debate and reasoning things through. He challenges me/ my opinion now which I love and hate in equal measure. It has led to a much more balanced relationship.

Going no contact is a major step and it really doesn't sound like a necessary one from what you've posted. Taking control of contact and accepting your MIL as who she is on the other hand would be very desirable. Does your DH seek approval from his mother still to validate his own sense of worth from achievements? Thats the sort of contact cycle you need to look at breaking. If she isn't able to offer it thats just how it is.

Anxiety/ depression/ paranoia do seam to have strong familial links. Some elements I understand can be learned behaviours but others are quite possibly genetics. Do you think its possible MIL is also a big depression sufferer? Not trying to excuse her behaviour or justify it but could it go some way to explaining it?

You mention about your DD's special day out to get a pet. Having Granny involved is a lovely thought but with hindsight are there different ways that sort of situation could be played out so that Granny is involved still but not pivotal or able to take away from the event by being 'busy'? Could she have come for tea afterwards or could you have popped in on your route home?

The first and biggest step with depression is recognising it. The next step is starting on the road for treating and controlling. Its a long old path but life is an interesting journey of twists and turns. DH and I have learnt so much about each other/ our relationship through the counselling it has made us stronger and more of a team.

I don't blame DH's mother. The little I know about her upbringing it was also pretty abusive. She started investigating the family tree and both her grandfather and great grandfather appear to have died in psychiatric type/ special hospitals so how far back does one take blame? We all need to take control of our own destinies and it sounds like you're doing just that.

granulatedhappiness · 03/03/2015 11:55

Thankyou so much for reading my post and taking the time to reply. I feel much clearer about the situation now and your comments have been extremely helpful.

Matilda - I'm sorry about your friend. I can easily see how this could happen and I don't want it to happen to me and DH. I hope things get better for her. Flowers

MisForMum - thankyou for sharing what you and your DH are going through. It makes me feel so much more positive about our situation, hearing that you and your DH are stronger and that you're dealing so well with it.

To answer your questions, I'm not sure DH seeks his mum's approval and I agree with you that going no contact wouldn't help us. Yes, I think she did / does suffer from depression so I have sympathy with that but, like you said, it doesn't excuse treating her own child like that.

The pet thing was odd because it wasn't that we'd tried to involve her as the initial idea came from her. Just made it even weirder when, on the day, she said she was busy. Confused

I found what you said about not blaming your MIL very interesting. You said "how far back does one take blame?" which has really stuck with me and given me lots to think about.

I hope things continue to improve for you and your DH. Flowers

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