My OH and I had a very stressful weekend last weekend and this weekend decided to have a 'special' weekend. Only it didn't turn out that way.
And I shouldn't have expected or hoped it to really, I am beginning to realise.
We were going to spend the day out but on the Friday (as usual) OH has to drink and go to bed late. I said about going to bed earlier so that we could have our 'special' day but he wouldn't go to bed till 2am and he didn't wake up till close to 11am.
I lost heart about our special day in the end. And then again, last night, he drinks and goes to bed late. He says he has to let his hair down after a working week of having to get up early but he also says that I deserve better and that he is always letting me down. He just can't seem to change a habit of a lifetime.
He was the same as this with his ex wife who he was with for 28 years. Yet when he wanted to do something, like get fit and go cycling, he would get up early to do that and he did that for a couple of years! That pissed her off and I can't say I blame her in many ways.
He says he sees how much effort I put into the relationship and feels bad that he can't get up in the mornings at the weekends. I spend a lot of time alone in the mornings. It feels like such a waste.
I have paid for weekends away for us at least six times and he hasn't once. He has habits he can't seem to break. He is 49 years old now.
To me, it is quite simple...make the effort, go to bed just a little bit earlier (he always falls asleep straight away, often before me) and enjoy the day together. I can think of a lot harder things to do and to me, this is no deal breaker of a compromise.
He says he'd love it if I was with him in the mornings when he wakes up, then he would bring me a cup of tea in bed but obviously, it is always too late and I am up already. He is a night owl.
It would be nice to go to bed at a reasonable time and make love but even this is affected now as well. I am always too tired and I am perimenopausal too which doesn't help. So you'd think you'd make love at the weekend and it isn't happening.
The best advice I can give myself is get a life really at the weekends and leave him to it if he won't change. It depends on how important the relationship is to him after all.
Any advice from you lovely girls would help :-)