Porn!

[Ilovemybedbaby]

Dp just said he would brake my nose, having a convo about porn he won't admit anything but I know, I've found stuff! Sick of it he knows it's a deal breaker for me!
I had his phone putting music on I said can I look at your history, no u can't! Me-why not
Dp- ill brake your nose!
Been together 3years, wtaf!!

Leave or ask him to leave now. I wouldn't even contact him again. This would be the end for me. He's lied and threatened you.

What do you want to do?

What?? Wow i really don't think the issue here is porn...

It's so mad mrs, up until the last 6months he never did it, but I new with his las gf he did! I really can't stand it, I've told him he could be watching a 14yr old that's been traficked, how does he know, it's disgusting he has 13 ur old daughter ! Men make me sick, I'm so down on anti ds and he doesn't help!

He doesn't sound like he is helping at all. You shouldn't be spoken to that way lovely. Ever. Being depressed is tiring. I understand. You don't need this behaviour on top of it. You should feel safe and listened to.

I think porn is less of an issue than a threat to break your nose, TBH. Has he threatened you before?

"I'll break your nose"

Oh he's just a PRINCE.

I don't care what you did, for him to threaten to break your nose is way over the red line.

Doesn't matter but has he been drinking? Are you safe just now?

I really don't think porn is the main issue here.

Someone who threatens to break your nose should be given a wide berth.

We have had shit before, but what I've said tonight is - look dp I won't have porn as part of my life it's a deal braker, him- your threatening me , what does that make you, I will do what I want! Me- go then coz that's not what I want in my life! Vids of 18yr old girls well I think there that old I don't know! I'm so hurt I'm 33 and put weight on revectly feel like worlds most ugliest woman

Oh bedbaby don't let his behaviour damage you further. You aren't ugly. His behaviour is though. You've said its a deal breaker so end it. Are you living together? Is he still there?

Fwiw I'm a man and telling your gf that you'll break her nose is completely insane behaviour. You just don't say stuff like that. Ever.

If porn is a deal breaker then it's time to break it off. From what you're saying you'll be much better off on your own.

Yes live together, I'm safe I've come to bed he's in the living room we both have a daughter from previous but there out tonight thank god! I'm just so sick of it! I even think when we have sex he's thinking about what he's watched, do men do that? Honest answers please, I'm at the end of my tether! He makes me feel so Fuking ugly!!

Manof he won't admit anything, hard to leave, had 3failed relationships before this, family love him , he and his friends seen to think porn ok which I know for some it is, just not me, I've Been cheated on it hurts me , wish it didn't ! I feel just like a knob!!

You would be so much better off away from this man. It doesn't matter who he is thinking about or if he is watching porn at this point. It's the fact he has casually threatened you with violence. The fact that he makes you feel ugly is also important because it tells me that you are getting nothing good from this relationship.
Your vulnerable with depression and second guess yourself sometimes, Blame yourself or try to fix things so you don't fail. This is not a healthy relationship for you.

I'm pretty sure your family won't love him if they heard him threaten you.

No your right mrs my mum would probs kick his arse,Londoner !!
He must do as a defence so I don't go near his phone It's a real issue. , do not know where to go, in 3 years we have had 1 physical fight, he had a scratch on his nose my gums and lip were bleeding!

OP

Failed relationships aren't anything to be ashamed of. We all have to spend time with a certain number of partners before we find the 'right one' (if you know what I mean).

In answer to your question on porn, no. I don't think of anyone else other than my wife during sex. I'm not saying I don't think about other women. I think that's natural but the only woman I actually fantasise about, when having sex is my wife.

If I'm completely honest, irrespective of there being any porn involved, I believe you could do with thinking seriously about what's best for you. I don't know the exact details of your relationship but from what you've said so far, it doesn't sound like it's particularly healthy.

Relationships should make you feel good about yourself and positive about your future. You shouldn't feel ugly or at the end of your tether. It doesn't matter if your family love him either as he's not living with them, you are.

Most of all you shouldn't feel threatened as you are equal to him. Of course men are typically stronger than women but using that as a threat i.e. Saying he'll break your nose, is so far away from a healthy loving relationship it's not true.

Apologies for the long post but please think about it and talk to someone close, who you trust.

Manof thankyou so much, thankyou all of you who took time out of your day to comment, I am very grateful , I'm so overpowered , it goes so much deeper! I want another baby I'm 33 he won't, I'm going to get to 50 and regret this child I haven't had, he won't get married , I've always wanted a wedding day

No problem

Do you think you may have bigger regrets if you're with a man that makes you feel so bad about yourself?

I appreciate you would like another baby but does it have to mean that you end up compromising yourself so much? 33 isn't that old by today's standards.

If your DP has already had a fight with you before, and you've ended up with a bloody lip, do you not think he has already shown you How little respect he has for you?

I'm not telling you what to do but personally I would rather get to 50 without another baby than to stay with someone as you've described.

I've just cried reading your post Manof, everything you said is gospel truth! That's another thing j might think im wierd , am i?? I'm catholic and want to go back to church. Will he think I'm mad?

Spell check I'm sorry it looks like I can't spell but it's the spellcheck sorry

I don't think you're weird or mad but it doesn't sound like you're in the best place at the moment. This is totally understandable.

As I said before, it may be good to talk to someone close who you trust.

Anyway I need to catch some zzzz's so all the best for now.

Thanks love x

Hello OP. How are you today?

Look, this man is a shit and the relationship is absolutely toxic. Get rid of him and look into some counselling or therapy for yourself so that you don't get involved with any more inadequate, unpleasant men. If you have been in other abusive relationships (particularly if your upbringing was abusive eg violent parent or other close relative, or being told that women are inferior to men and have to please them) it's quite difficult to learn, on your own, that you have every right to be treated with courtesty and kindness and respect and that it';s fine to be single.
I wouldn't look to the Catholic church for help, though. As an institution, its track record on woman-hating and sexual abuse is pretty dreadful.