I am a NCing regular. Pom bears, gluezilla, penis beaker etc etc. My usual name is maybe identifiable and I don't want to out myself for fear of outing my friend if this situation is recognised (will try to make it as anon as possible). Apologies as this may be long.
My friend has been married for 11 years and has two DCs, aged 10 and 7. Up until recently I thought she and her DH were happily married as everything seemed okay on the outside. A couple of weeks ago after we both had one too many, she started telling me some things that had happened and she has mentioned more since then. It's like the too much alcohol opened the gates and she's felt more able to talk. Here's the situation:
About five years ago, friends DH had an affair with one of the mums from school. It didn't go on too long before my friend found out and it ended (OW's DH found out and punched my friend's DH, he had to explain his injury). Since then she has done all school pick ups herself. She said she doesn't know why she doesn't let her DH do them since the mum in question no longer has DCs at the school, I think (although I didn't question her) that it's likely a general trust issue rather than thinking there is someone there in particular, iyswim.
Friend forgave her DH and they moved on, but about three years ago now there was another incident where the DH was caught sending incriminating emails to a colleague in another department (full of things like what they wanted to do to each other etc). Friend found out by hacking her DH's emails and confronted the colleague who shut down the contact immediately. Friend and DH went through another rough patch but ultimately they have stayed together.
Things have been okay since then but recently friend has started to suspect her DH again. There is a woman he has contact with through work who he been flirty with. She works for a connected agency and they see each other about once a month. Other colleagues of his have commented on it apparently. My friend doesn't think anything has actually happened but given her DH's history, I can understand her concern. He is also quite flirty with a couple of women in his office, one of them she thinks is quite innocent but the other might be crossing the line a little bit.
Friend is asking advice and I don't know what to say. So far I have just given her a hug, made her coffee and listened to her, which is what I think she needs more than anything (just someone to be there I guess). Should I be doing/saying something else? I don't know what to say for the best.
Thank you for any help (might be slow in replying to any responses as getting DCs sorted tonight).