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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Walking out tomorrow

23 replies

chemistc · 28/02/2015 01:57

So I have finally had enough and have decided that tomorrow I am going to get up, shower, grab a handful of stuff then jump in the car and drive back to Wales back to my parents

OP posts:
Flossiefloss · 28/02/2015 02:07

I don't know your situation but good luck. I hope it all works out for you.

AcrossthePond55 · 28/02/2015 02:19

I wish you the best and a safe, peaceful journey. Be sure you turn on some good music and sing out LOUD on your way. Eat some junk food, too. Celebrate your courage and your freedom.

thatsnotmynamereally · 28/02/2015 05:15

Good for you, chemist. I seem to remember he was particularly nasty and controlling. Did something prompt this?

Have a good journey Flowers

TheChickenSituation · 28/02/2015 05:18

Good luck Flowers

Walkacrossthesand · 28/02/2015 08:30

Well done chemist. Be sure to take your important papers, and brace yourself to ignore a major onslaught of tears, threats, begging....I guess he'll work out you've gone to your mum's, so be prepared for him to magically overcome his dislike of driving to Wales Confused and turn up on the doorstep to plead and beg some more.
You are 100% doing the right thing to end this marriage, in which you were effectively a prisoner. No-one likes being 'dumped' but they have to get over it - and remember, he left you no choice but to leave this way, with his falling to your feet/threatening to make your life hell if you left him. He did this, not you. Flowers

kittensinmydinner · 28/02/2015 09:54

Well done Chemistc. Have you left ? Or did you mean Sunday.

MyDHhasnomemory · 28/02/2015 13:02

Good luck and stay strong. He sounds awful and your future will be so much brighter without him.

WONAR · 01/03/2015 10:05

Oh chemistc I remember you!! (I've name-changed since that post, we spoke a few times.) I'm so glad you've made this decision. Well done

WildFlowerWoman · 01/03/2015 10:55

Don't forget to get legal advice. Do you have a joint bank account for instance? If so, you might want to get it frozen or you could find he takes all the money. Do you have a joint mortgage? What if he stops paying? Lots of things to consider here, but you need to get legal advice fast if you haven't done so already.

Good luck. I hope things work out well for you. Flowers

DarkNavyBlue · 01/03/2015 11:09

Good luck!

ImperialBlether · 01/03/2015 11:22

This is the OP's earlier post just before Christmas.

I really hope you are on your way now.

Original poster
chemistc · 05/03/2015 23:23

Hey, thank you all for your support.

I am so sorry but I didn't go through with it. I was so determined to leave but when I woke up all my resolve was gone. There was something that triggered my decision. It was a typical evening but I was stressed from work, my H went to bed and I told him I was going to watch one of the programs I like on TV. We usually watch what he wants and anything I want to watch we record. About half way through the program I was feeling tired so I went from the lounge to get a book from my bag in the downstairs cupboard to take to bed to read. I had left the TV on. As I walked out of the lounge, who did I see sitting on the floor in the corridor going through my bag and phone. Yep my husband.

I have found some hope. I have a friend in work now. I didn't mean for it to happen but it just did. He was helping me dispose of some samples, I was reaching up to get a box from a high shelf, completely forgot myself as this is something I do on my own. I guess my jumper must have risen up a bit when I was stretching. Anyway he put 2 + 2 together. I think he will help me escape.

OP posts:
Original poster
chemistc · 05/03/2015 23:25

I have tried several times to leave but he always cries, tells me that he wont be able to find anyone else, how much he loves me, how he promises to change. It is this feeling of guilt that stops me from leaving.

OP posts:
Original poster
chemistc · 05/03/2015 23:41

I am just reading back through my original thread and I do feel like I am in a better place to leave him. I know now that there is a way out. I dont have to kill myself to be free from him. Yes he will hurt like hell for a few months, but I have been hurting for hell for years.

My oldest nephew is 10 - i have seen him 5-6 times. I have 2 other nephews and 2 nieces. I have missed out on so much because of him. Maybe I am not worth it, but nieces and nephews are worth it. I want to be a proper Aunty to them, they deserve to know me. x I think

OP posts:
tipsytrifle · 06/03/2015 09:06

Not too sure I understand what you are saying here?

I guess my jumper must have risen up a bit when I was stretching. Anyway he put 2 + 2 together. I think he will help me escape.

You cannot put your salvation in anyone else's hands. It isn't fair, correct or likely to happen. Getting in the car and driving to Wales seemed a much better plan.

Anniegetyourgun · 06/03/2015 09:18

Do you mean he saw bruises?

tipsytrifle · 06/03/2015 09:38

My last post was a little harsh, on reflection, chemistc. My apologies. I'll read your other thread for a better picture of what's happening with you. I still think Wales was a good plan but understand that fear creates a kind of paralysis that it's hard to overcome.

Original poster
chemistc · 06/03/2015 23:37

Yes sorry my work colleague saw some bruises.

OP posts:
Lweji · 06/03/2015 23:48

What do you think you need to get out?

GoatsDoRoam · 07/03/2015 09:20

Hi chemist.

Your threads are heart-breaking.

I am rooting for the day when you do leave him.

When you are ready, there is help and support out there for you. They need you to take the first step and reach out to them first, though: solicitors, police, refuges, women's aid, trusted friends and supportive family members.

When you're ready. You can do it.

ourglass · 07/03/2015 09:36

Thinking of you x

Original poster
chemistc · 04/06/2015 21:23

Hello just to let all of you who supported me know, I have a flat and I am moving in on the 12th. Thank you all for your messages xxx

OP posts:
GammonAndEgg · 04/06/2015 21:30

Bloody fabulous! Are you safe now?

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