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Original poster

Childhood photos

7 replies

Youngestone · 27/02/2015 21:58

I was always aware, that I was an an 'accident", mum told me many times, how she has five children in five years, then just as the youngest was about to go school, I came. along (so the then born children were aged 10 down to 5).

She told me how wonderful my next eldest sister (the one aged 4.5 when she was pregnant with me) would sit like an angel next to her bed while she had to rest in the afternoon while she was pregnant with me.

I can tell you loads about how awful and unwanted I was made to fell, but one thing that hurts so much

There are loads of photos of my siblings,days on the beach, in the park, photos of them alone and together and there is not a single photo of me as a child, not one not even of my communion (every other sibling has one of what is a massive day).

It s all come to a head as mum has passed away and sharing of the childhood photos has nothing to do with me, I have none of me.

I feel bitter (I'm being honest) that the other five are having canvas made of the various photos, but I don't have a place.

OP posts:
Charlie97 · 27/02/2015 22:19

Not got an answer but that's tough. Take care.

CrazyCatLady13 · 27/02/2015 22:24

Am so sorry that this has happened to you. You did not ask to be born, and did not deserve to be treated like you were unwanted, please tell yourself that you deserved better than that.

MadeMan · 27/02/2015 22:36

I can never understand why people are made to feel shit for being a so-called accident; it's not like all pregnancies are planned around a table.

You have your own valuable place in the world OP, and arseholes to the rest of them.

TalkingintheDark · 27/02/2015 23:21

As well as the way your mother behaved being really awful - I call it emotionally abusive - the way your siblings are behaving now is pretty insensitive too. Making the canvas of the photos - they must be well aware that you just don't feature in them, and it sounds like they've all just gone along with your mother's mistreatment of you and accept it as OK.

Of course you're bitter. It sounds like you were the family scapegoat growing up, and that you still are now, at least to some degree.

What do you get out of your relationship with your siblings now? Are they loving/supportive in other ways? If not, would you consider taking a step back from them?

daisychain01 · 28/02/2015 05:22

So sad for you. You can't change the past, it's tough that your siblings have their canvas of photos. Can you make up your own but using the earliest photos you have of yourself?

Are there any family members you could contact to ask if they took any photos? We lost our DM when we were 5 and 7 YO and I only have 3 photos of us as children. I did a family search and contacted various people I never knew existed. I didn't find any photos of me, but did get a few of our DM so maybe that's a possible avenue to explore?

TwitterWooooo · 28/02/2015 09:49

What you have described sounds very hurtful, both by your mother and siblings. They are dealing with their own grief I expect, but won't see things from any pov other than their own.
I do empathise, truly, I experienced the same "no photos" of me growing up. Turned out my "dad" was actually my uncle and so I was totally unwanted.

Vivacia · 28/02/2015 10:04

Do you take photos of yourself nowadays? Photos of you with loved ones, in places you love or doing things you love..?

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