Advice needed, please

[NCwithOutlaws]

Been NC with Outlaws for several months. DH tried several times to reconcile with them but to no avail. MIL is a Narc, FIL aggressive enabler as is SIL.

They've tried all the usual things to get DH to toe the line: panic attacks, emotional begging, shouting, being abusive, labelling me as the sum of all evil, mental illness and incurable illness. None of these things have worked, we have maintained radio silence for months now.

However, they have contacted DC's school requesting an update on his progress. WTF? We're not surprised. My question is, I guess, has anyone else been in a similar position? I suspect that they are going to go down the route of accusing me of being an unfit mother to SS and/or attempt to get a legal order to enforce contact with our DC. Any words of wisdom and/ advice would be very gratefully received.

Wow.
What did the school say?

The Head showed us the letter and stated that she would be divulging any information. I'm a rather private person but due to their letter, DH and I felt it prudent to give the Head background information as to why we are NC.

I hope that's not divulging .

Shit, I'm so tired. Yes, that should be not divulging any information.

None of their damn' business what your DC is/are doing at school, is it? I'm pretty sure that unless they have parental responsibility they don't have a right to know.

My sympathies to your poor DH. At least they're doing him the favour of proving he made the right decision.

Am very glad to read the school is not divulging any information to these people.

In the UK grandparents have no automatic rights of access to their grandchildren.

Maintain radio silence with them, do not respond to any attempted contacts. If they harass you, seek legal advice. DH must not ever now attempt to again reconcile with them, it simply will not work.

Thank you for replying.

I suspect they've upped the ante as Mothers' Day is coming up and Narc MIL simply has to have all her chess pieces in place to play the roles she's assigned them.

I am concerned that they'll go down the legal
route and there is no way in hell we will allow them to have contact with our DC.

Atilla, that's exactly what DH said. As for months he has felt guilty and torn but this latest stunt has confirmed just how toxic they are.

Have you talked to a solucitor just in case?

OP they have done this to piss you off - that's all.

It worked didn't it?

It would be very difficult for GPs to successfully obtain access to your DC. I would not give it a second thought. I imagine you and DH have a catalogue of evidence as to their toxic behaviour and your reasons why they should not see the DC - it simply won't happen.

Now go back to your happy NC life and think of this as a helpful reminder of why you are NC.

We haven't sought legal counsel yet.

They have an over inflated opinion of their rights and are arrogant enough to throw money at the situation thinking they'll get their way.

You can relax up to a point. There is no way they could get legal access to your DCs especially if you have a catalogue of their abusive behaviour. It would be fun seeing them spend a fortune trying though eh? Carry on as you have started and maintain the NC. Silly buggers!

We've got copy of emails, text messages and Ive kept a list of their abusive behaviours. Will that be enough?

Yep - they would have to prove that they had a very close relationship with the DC that you were depriving them of and that it would be detrimental to the DC emotional well being to deny them access to their GPs.

Most of their abuse has been shouting down the phone, hysterics in front of the kids and intimidation tactics such staring and glaring at me and DH. All of which I've made a note of but don't have written proof, if you see what I mean.