Family mediation suggestions?

[southlondonbaby]

My DP is 14 weeks (on tues.... But who's counting!?!) and Dsis was not only one of the first people we told, she's also been the most excited.

But DP and DSis have had issues before pregnancy - DP feels Dsis lacks boundaries and doesn't communicate well, Dsis think DP is controlling and DP doesn't like her. When things go well together they get on, but when an issue comes up my DP gets defensive and Dsis withdraws contact for weeks on end. It's exhausting.

I love them both massively, and can see both perspectives, although I do try to not referee. I know things will be exacerbated when LO arrives so I'm thinking to approach DP and Dsis and suggest some mediation sessions with a professional to see if that helps with the communication issues.

Does anyone have any recommendations for mediators who work with family members (esp with any experience of gay families)

I think you have to get off the fence. Unless your DP is acting completely irrationally, criminally or maliciously she should expect your full loyalty. So stop seeing both perspectives, stop looking for compromises, throw your weight behind your partner and make sure your sister knows that she is on thin ice if she treats your partner with anything other than courtesy. As regards your partner, I think you tell her that you are fully on her side but that, in return, you expect her to behave courteously to your sister if they have to cross paths. They don't have to like each other - they just have to be civil. Grown ups....