DP's age causing pressure to TTC

[PatienceWanted]

A bit of background - I am female in my late 20s and my partner is very nearly 50. I have a 10yo dc, partner has much older children and we would both love children together. We've been together for nearly 2 years, we don't live together yet but both would like to and we hope it'll happen soon. For the last year DP has been at mine pretty much all the time we'd just be taking that final leap. DP and I are both massively in love. Despite our age gap I cannot imagine being with anyone else. I am very broody, and am also aware of DP's advancing age.
However I don't want to rush our relationship, move in immediately and start TTC and find out later that we weren't 'ready' as a couple and we needed more time together just us (this is what happened with my first pregnancy, was pg 6 months in and we split a few years later). The pressure of DP's age is stressing me out though, I keep thinking even if we fell pg now he would be 50 1/2 at the birth. If we fall pregnant in 12 months time he'd be 51 1/2 , and it's getting older and older which worries me. How the heck can I chill out and just let our relationship BE, without biological clocks - mainly his - ringing in the background constantly?

There's very little real difference between 50, 52 and 55. I saw 67 year old David Essex interviewed last week and his partner has just had a baby. At whatever point you ttc he's going to be mistaken for grandpa at the school drop-offs and all the other hazards of being an old parent. We're all getting 'older and older' and there are no guarantees. If you're really unlucky he could outlive you. :)

Blimey @ David Essex! He probably has kids in their forties.

Apparently he has five children... 42, 37, 26 (twins) and 7mo. Bet it gets interesting buying birthday cards. 'Is the baby my uncle, my brother or my cousin Mum?'

I don't think you can 'just' chill - it's a massive decision you're making. You have a few choices though

1. Go for it now, if having children are so important to you both. If you split up, then you split up. That can happen if you've been together for 10 years before you have children.
2. Wait until you've been together for a bit longer, are living together, you've got some financial and legal protection in place through marriage or other, and then go for it - accepting that he will be an older dad (which is becoming very common)
3. Don't have any more children together and focus on the ones you've already got and your relationship.

Have you talkied to him about it?
How does he feel about being a dad at over 50?

I don't think it's a good idea to even consider TTC before you've actually lived together properly for a decent amount of time.

Two years is not exactly rushing to get married and have children, though, is it?
If you take babies out of the equation, would you want to live together (and possibly get married?) now?

Why not go for one step at a time? Move in together - it sounds like that isn't significantly different to the status quo anyway. Then give it a few months and reassess ttc.

FWIW my DH is nearly 14 years older than me (though I was in my 30s at the time), and that was one of the reasons we ttc earlier than we perhaps would have otherwise - we had lived together for just over a year.