Please help...New OH, Can't orgasm

[Stillrumple]

I'm now on the edge of sanity and would really appreciate any advice. I've been an avid mumsnet reader for years, but this is my first post as I'm in quite a pickle (no pun intended)..

I can't have clitoral orgasms due to an injury. I was in a long-term with my x and had no problem reaching orgasm from penetration, and he 'hit the spot' quite often... My new OH is FAR less well endowed, but possibly still about average, though Im quite inexperienced... The problem is, we been together a year and I haven't orgasmed even once... I'm turning into a raving lunatic, and actually getting so bitchy that I'm putting our relationship, and perhaps even my job, in jeopardy... My question is, does anyone else have experience with this? I mean downgrading to a smaller size willy leading to less frequent orgasms? Or, the other way round?

And just before there's any suggestions about intimacy, my x was a selfish prick, but my current OH is the sweetest man in the world... I don't want to leave him, but I can't go on like this.... I'm trying to work out if it could be physical, and if it is I'll spend money on a fat dildo... But I'm hand to mouth at the moment and can barely spare a quid, let alone what those cost... Has anyone had any similar experience when changing SIze, either up or down?

Is this just in missionary?

Have you tried other positions? Being on top, or spooning?

Are you relaxed enough during? Or worrying about not reaching orgasm?

Are you able to orgasm by yourself ?

I was just reading about this spot past the cervix which apparently gives amazing orgasams if stimulated by long penises. That could be what you need stimulating.

A cheap vibrator or dildo might help. They don't cost much and you can incorporate it into love making.

Getting your partner to move slightly forward while on top of you can increase stimulation of the parts of your clitorous that is internal (there is apparently 4cm inside us, not just the bit up top).

A vibrating egg inserted during sex.

Teaching him to use his fingers/hands to get to where you like it.

A carrot, if you want something right now.

Yeah I've been in the situation of going from a big one to a smaller one and it takes a while to get used to it again. I found doggy style best as it allowed him to get in deeper and I found the hard banging much more stimulating. (I was a devil for shouting "Bang me harder!" - god knows what the neighbours thought )

I went big to small.
Needed much much more intimate foreplay and touching, inside and out.
Theres a two way vibrator by lelo you can use during penetration. Maybe try that?

It might have something to do with g-spot (i.e. urethral sponge) stimulation, Stillrumple. My suggestion to try: get yourself aroused - with your partner or without - so that you both feel turned on and your vulval area is engorged (a sign of more advanced arousal). Then insert two fingers into your vagina, and feel along the top wall about an inch in. You should locate an area that stands out as bumpy. Stimulate that with two fingers while stroking your clitoris. It's better to have two sets of hands for this for several reasons. See if you climax through that. If you do, then it may well be that your partner's penis is not stimulating that area as much.

PM me if you want to know more. I'm a somatic sexologist so I do have some ideas about what you can do.

a-hem. When I write "so that you both feel turned on", I don't mean you and your partner; rather a "both ... and" statement.

"A carrot, if you want something right now"

Perhaps with a spicy dip.

Get him to try withdrawing almost all the way or all the way out and pushing back in repeatedly .ie. long strokes. This helps stimulate the g-spot which is about an inch inside the vagina on the front wall.

The other thing you could try is masturbating on your own with a specific g-spot vibrator/dildo that is curved forwards. It will help you to locate your own g spot and understand what works for you stimulation wise.

Something like this:

www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29562

A carrot if you want something now.

But be aware that going from a big one to a small one might lead to loss of orgasm. Just saying like....