when should you be thinking of moving a new partner in?

[turquoiseamethyst]

My situation is pretty complicated.

I was married; I still technically am. I'm also pregnant. I have a baby girl and an older boy.

My friend/partner - not really sure what to refer to her as - will probably be staying with us in the summer when the new baby is born.

what I am wondering is, would it be hugely awful for her just to stay with us then? or would it be too soon for DCs? (They already know her and like her, very much.)

I'm trying to weigh up not rushing into things with the fact that I need SOME support ...

You and your children probably need a bit of stability and predictability. If you see your partner as providing both long term and everyone already knows each other, then it may be a good judgement. What you have to avoid is moving someone in to combat a short term problem only to turn everyone's life upside down again when it doesn't work. FWIW I think I would at least try to get the divorce finalised first.

I know exactly what you mean and I definitely don't want to charge into things. I think this is where having someone who is a friend as well as a partner makes it harder in many ways as it's obviously appropriate to have a friend stop over but not a partner if you see what I mean! But when they are both?

I think you're splitting hairs. She's a partner. You have to make the decision based on this being a very serious next step in the relationship. Means working through all the other stuff as well of course.... finances, approach to chores, attitude to raising children,.

I'm not intentionally splitting hairs, I promise :)