Dh wants me to give up breastfeeding

[deepdish]

dd2 is 6 months, I have another dd and a ds. I thought I would breastfeed for the first 6 months only, but now dd2 and I have settled into a routine and we both really enjoy it. I like to feed her in the morning and evening and in the night if she needs it. She has bottles of formula in the daytime now although I exclusively breastfed for 5 months which I am secretly very proud of as it is hard to do with two other small children. Dd2 has been eating real food for a couple of weeks. I also breastfeed in the day if she gets really upset about anything as it comforts her. She has a tooth now and bites me when she has had enough! Anyway my dh thinks that breastfeeding is linked to my lack of libido, we have slept together only 4 times since dd2 was born. I really don't have any sex drive at the minute. Our relationship is fundamentally good although we are getting at each other more than usual. I don't want to stop feeding dd2 as she will more than likely be my last baby and it is going so well. I don't know whether to give up or not to try and increase my libido or to please dh. I would be grateful for some advice. Thanks.

Message withdrawn

Ye canna let him do that man.

I think that if its now just a 2 x per day comfort thing and that your child is reliant on a lot of other forms of food, that its not going to hurt or deprive the child - to considering stopping -

As far as I understand it, continuing to breast feed will hold off your normal menstrual cycle returning and yes, consequently ovulation and that could indeed impact on your libido (depends on who you are, of course).

It sounds like your husband has "asked you" rather than demanded or made an ultimatum, which is a far less selfish way to approach the subject. It doesn't sound like he's been unreasonable in any way.

Can you talk it through with him? find a happy compromise when you both feel its time to quit, perhaps?

But I don't WANT to stop. In fact I think I would be very upset and resentful about stopping. I think the suggestions about spending more time together alone are good ones.

if you don't want to stop you shouldn't; bfeeding up to the age of 2 has many proven benefits. If you're happy and your baby is happy then it's the best thing to do

I hope that you've got the support that you need in this decision and your belief that you want to carry on from this thread - let us know how you go on

I'm still bfing a 22 month old and I can tell you that it was more sleep, and more time for me, that meant a better sex life

deepdish i read your first post and had to check that it wasn't my subconcious mind typing for me! I have a v similar situation.
Esp as dd is now weaning there are def hints that perhaps the bf should be winding down and the bedroom action should be increasing. at best, we can joke about it, at worst the atmosphere can be cut with a knife. Much as i love my dh i am standing my ground on this one as I wont be bf for the rest of my life, but he will have ample opportunity to make the most of my oh so gorgeous body (!!!) til its even more saggy and wrinkly than it is now.
it is tricky honey i know. and i wish i had some advice to impart. just letting u know that its not just you XX

well or grand total is 0 in 5 months so your DH should count his lucky stars!

our*

Deepdish - my DS2 is only 4 weeks and already DH is asking when I'm going to stop! I think all the suggestions below are really good but in the end you need to find out why he wants you to stop. If it really is that he thinks it will improve your sex life then start a thread entitled - 'Did stopping BF improve your sex life?', then print it off - maybe then he'll get the picture!

For my DH the issues (already!) are my boobs being used for something 'else', BF in public or even in front of our friends when at home, he thinks its harder for me (I have BF thrush at mo - ouch!), he's under the false impression we'll get more sleep if we FF et etc - I'm doing my best to educate him but it's easier said than done!

The other issue we have similar to yours is that my DH is a domestic goddess - so much so it makes me feel inadequate. But IMO he does too many unnecessary things when what I really need is him to cook the kids tea, feed the baby (EBM of course) and do bedtime while I lock myself in the bedroom with a good book and some ear plugs

Sorry there's not much advice but plenty of sympathy - hope you can work it out (and he gives you some time off).

oh thank you so much for all your advice, I will let you know how I get on! liquidclocks I totally sympathise with you - having a domestic god is a total pain sometimes. Sorry about the thrush, hope it gets better soon. evilstepmom it is nice to know I am not alone! Thanks everyone.

Was really comforted to read this - thanks for starting it deepdish. I'm totally off shagging - have 6 mth old dd2. Have managed to get it on with dh several times despite not being in the mood and it was okay once we got going but frankly I'd rather have been asleep!! He isn't linking it to bf although I think he'd be chuffed if I stopped as he thinks of my bristols as his but on loan to the baby - sigh. I've also lost quite a bit of weight thanks to a Weightwatchers campaign which makes him all the keener even tho I've been very clear that I lost the weight for MY sake. I do tell him that some romance and wooing might help rather than being a bit sulky and he is trying. He is fab with the kids and that deffo makes me feel more foxy towards him... Best of British deepdish.