Disney Dads

[arlagirl]

Ex h and I divorced recently and he has just moved out round the corner.
The dcs are teens and are dropping into see him daily which I'm pleased about as he was panicking they wouldn't.

But I am gritting my teeth at tales of "dads going to take us here" and "going out for dinner with dad" . Whereas I'm more "have you emptied the dishwasher" and "turn the lights out".

This is the man who planned to move to Australia and not tell the kids.

I suppose the answer is to talk to your DCs about life at your home, explain how they have to grow up and take on more responsibility now that Dad isn't there, and see how you can get things to work better as a team so that you are not reminding them about dishwashers and lights so much. IME DCs quite like the idea that they are being treated more as an adult.

Do ideas of Dad taking them places or going out for dinner come to anything or is it all pie-crust promises that they'll get fed up with eventually?

What sort of father was he, pre- divorce?

Did is more impressionable...Ds not so.
Yes we've had conversation about money/bills etc and they are sensible teens.
He IS taking them out...but that may change. He is a good dad..but always did fun stuff. Not the school stuff, homework etc.

Just sticks on my throat a bit as he was gloating over me being effectively a single parent and dealing with all the crap day to day stuff.
I'm having a bit of a low moment. Am very positive about my new situation...getting to grips with lots of things I never did before

.

IME, Disney Dads get tired of it after a while. I've seen it, on my end. It was all days out and excitement two years ago. Now it's tears over too much shouting and him having no patience with them. The thrill wears off.

Gloating is sure fire way to get your back up. It's a pity he lives so close as I suppose the temptation is for the kids to nip back home at the end of the day where all their things are. What would happen if you were to suggest they stay at Dad's for the full week? Do you have things you want to do and could use some time to yourself?

I have a Disney dad- but I'm a grown up now. Just to let u know that my mum is my rock- i had some good days out and visit my dad every few months now but it's nothing like the respect and trust I have in my mum. So without sounding like a cow- the long term winners are the 'stack the dishwasher' mums and dads. Your kids will realise this.

I'm lucky that I have lots of time to myself
He has no beds for them yet....but does have Sky sports

Just for the hollow laugh, on Disney Dads, I'd like to throw in that my XH:

• never asked for our child at the weekend for 8 months until he got a gf with a child (so now ours makes him look like super involved dad, and provides entertainment for gf's child)
• still in 2 years hasn't had her on a weekend without the gf being there
• is taking all of them to... Disney Florida!!

You've got to laugh

Honestly, I just concentrate on the fact I want my child to be happy. I actually would prefer that she never sees through him. Of course, that's through gritted teeth!