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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cooling two long term friendships.

7 replies

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/02/2015 20:26

I have two friends I have been friends with for years, one of them has been a friend for nearly 30 years.

Friend B I have known for over a decade and I havent been as close for a year since she she accused me of, well it was practically theft, she also started a long distance relationship which has recently ended, so she kinda withdrew.

Friend A is my oldest friend and godmother to my DD. I supported her through her break up with her boyfriend of 10 years, last June.

For the past few months, I've felt increasing left out of things. Going out for dinner and such. I've probably spent time with both of them about 5 times in this time. Friend A pops over occasionally and we have been out a handful of times. I havent spent any time with Friend B without Friend A for the past few months.

In this time they have been out and done several things. More recently since Friend B's LDR break up. Today I think they've been out again to London. It may sound stupid, but it feels like another snub. I dont expect to be invited to everything they do, but I just feel pushed out.

My life isnt going so great either, I feel depressed but I feel I cant talk about it because everyone's depressed. I feel like I'm existing.

In 12 weeks, I'm meant to be going on holiday with them and DD. I really dont feel like going, but I cant tell them that because then they'll get shitty with me. If Friend B feels left out, Friend A will suggest inviting her and I feel I cant say no. I've tried cooling it with Friend B but Friend A wont let me.

I just feel shit.

OP posts:
WineTasterExtra · 24/02/2015 21:02

How about visiting your GP?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/02/2015 21:08

I will once I remember to actually get an appointment.

OP posts:
Ilovemybedbaby · 24/02/2015 22:36

I've had something similar to this, I don't speak to either of them now and couldn't care less, they used to leave me out and talk about me behind my back, make me feel really rubbish! Is it them that's making u depressed or something else?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/02/2015 23:13

Just life in general.

I've had it out with Friend A, we've both been bad friends recently.

OP posts:
MairzyDoats · 24/02/2015 23:18

It does seem sad to throw away 30 years of friendship. I've known my best friend for nearly 20 years and sometimes we argue, like sisters almost. That said, I'd drop anything if she needed me, even though she can be a royal pain, because she knows me inside out and I her. I'd hate to lose that.

MairzyDoats · 24/02/2015 23:19

Friend B, on the other hand, doesn't sound all that great...

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/02/2015 23:34

I've sorted it with Friend A, we've been friends through a lot, I just needed to have it said.

Friend B, there isnt much of a friendship there after what happened.

OP posts:
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