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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Libido up and left 2yrs ago and still hasnt returned

4 replies

Leahmummy1630 · 24/02/2015 11:01

Can anybody help with any tips or suggestions. My sex life has disappeared! Not for the other half of course! I seem to have no libido at all. We have two daughters 6 and 2years. Our sex life while I was pregnant with no2 was alive and kicking. As soon as I gave birth it hasn't returned. I breastfed for 12momths and thought that maybe once my cycle returned so would it. But no... Definitely not. I could go straight to sleep every night if I had my way, but it is now starting to take effect on our relationship sexually. I even wait for him to fall asleep before I get into bed ?? I have tried dressing up but that doesn't help either. We try candles and romantic nights, still nothing. we don't have any problems with the children's bedtimes. They are in bed every night by 6.30 and sleep through, so it's not like we are over tired. I just can't seem to get in the mood. I have explained to him that the more he says to me how we used to be will make it worse, but now I feel the more we leave it the worse it will get. I want to have that closeness again, I understand with 2 children the sex life may not be like it used to be, but something has got to be better than nothing! Please help ladies

OP posts:
NaiceNickname · 24/02/2015 11:44

Right, from your post I can't really see any good reason for you to not be having a sex life... and you say you want one, so just do it. Honestly, just do it. Sex for me is one of those things that the longer I go without it, the less I want it. If I make a big deal of it in my head I get performance anxiety and just can't follow through. It's just sex. Think back to a time when you did enjoy it and want it - what made you tick then?

Plan a quiet night in, sink a bottle or two of wine together... take a nice hot shower together and see where it leads. Make it clear from the start that it may not lead anywhere so that there is no pressure, but spend time getting physically close with each other and I'm sure it'll jog your memory back to a time when you enjoyed it.

DS is 8 weeks old now and we also have a 5 yo DD so I know the feeling of preferring sleep to sex, but I actually do really enjoy sex and sometimes I have to make myself do it and once I do.. its great and I kick myself for not doing it more.

I'm not telling you to have sex if you really don't want to. But if you do, yet the thought of it is just too tiring and you have no other real reasons not to do it, then honestly just go for it.

Leahmummy1630 · 24/02/2015 12:13

I have tried all of it, and still it doesnt work. I know I am in love with my fiance, i still find him physically attractive to so I know it isnt that. It's a case of not getting into the mood. I have the naxplanon and have had this for 2years. I had the implanon before dd2 and never had a problem?

OP posts:
gatewalker · 24/02/2015 18:57

Birth control can have a huge effect on libido, Leahmummy. Huge.

Leahmummy1630 · 24/02/2015 19:19

That's what I'm thinking now gatewalker a trip to the docs may have to be in order!

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