My boyfriend does coke. I have been aware of this and now realizing he is in a little more deep than I thought.
He says he has done it for about 8 years, I have been around for 1. He says he only does it on weekends, and he doesn't have a problem because he can have it in the house without doing it. I know what I see, but wonder how much is hidden from me.
He usually gets it Thursday night and do it until it's gone(usually through Saturday night). He shares it with people when he is out. When we first started dating people would call/text offering football tickets, party invites ect...It has slowed down over the past 6 month or so. He thinks he is popular with a elite group of men, and the young girls half his age likes him because he is attractive and fun. I say it's because he always has blow in his pocket. I have been honest with my thoughts on this.
I have recently made a list of some concerns. I will write them below. Is this all related to the coke use?
-When I am going through something in life, when I really need him and his support he is not there for me. When I get pissed and express my feelings about the lack of support he pulls away and he hangs with his friends(it seems it usually be a weekend, and mainly one friend) It's like we had a fight because I needed him and instead of supporting me and comforting me he needs space because we got into a disagreement.
-He is Unmotivated
-Sleeps a lot/falls asleep
-Often late because he fell asleep
-Often doesn't sleep in bed with me
-Doesn't follow through with things he says he is going to do. Exp: helping with home projects ect...(anything that has to do with work for somebody else)
-Very Spontaneous, he would rather not have a plan
-No structure/doesn't like routine
-everybody loves him in his eyes
- He fells he is a awesome loyal friend and his friends that are millionaires and run company's come to him for advice.
-He spends a lot of time talking about how wonderful he is, and how wonderful his friends(some are people he has met at bars and party's throughout the years)
-Looks, youth, money, and power are the most important qualities, or what he is impressed with in people, and assume that's what we all look for.
- Blows his money, but cheap as hell (if that makes sense)
- No budgeting skills or planning for the future
-When we have a prior engagement we/he will be late (however he is much better than he use to be)
-When it comes to a certain friend he never informs me they are hanging out. I just want here from him, until the next day. When this happens I know who he is with. Why does he do this? I have never told him who he can or can not hangout with. He also didn't introduce me to this friend for a very long time. It's almost like he doesn't want us to get to know each other very well. Why? I know they do coke together. He is a wealthy friend of his, and this guy usually takes him to do cool stuff or to nice restaurants. But, the guy has a bad reputation and is known to be a weird guy. I like him OK. I don't quite understand, this is my biggest mystery.
-He hangs on to negative things from the past(Childhood, ex-wife)
-Very self absorbed
-Easily stressed and irritated
-He gets his feeling hurt real easy by often reading the situation wrong.
-when I say something about his cocaine use, he brings up me drinking.
-Doesn't consider others feelings
-When I am pissed at him, he ends up being mad at me.
-Twitches
- always blowing his nose
- sweats when he sleeps
-dark circles under his eyes
This is when he is not doing coke, I would have a whole different list when he is doing it. Sorry, I have written a book. After writing all this, I feel like I am a big dumb ass. Or a awesome person for putting up with this crap for as long as I have. In all honesty, he has a good heart, there are good things as well. He is great at cooking and letting me scratch his back. Lol!!! I have to laugh to keep from crying right now.