Amicable split... this would be so much easier of I hated him :(

[shitebag]

Okay I know it probably wouldn't but right now its just bloody hard!

After a lot of drawn out crap we've decided we just don't want the same things (actually he's decided this tbh) anymore so after 14 years, 2 kids and only 5 months of marriage ( ) we've called it a day.

I'm not "in love" with him but I do love him and I'm gutted that there won't be an 'us' anymore and my kids won't have the relationship with their dad that I wanted them to have and I'm heartbroken that the guy I've spent half my life with, my best friend will be 300 miles away.

BUT if I'm honest with myself things haven't been good for a while and I guess I hoped him proposing and us getting married would bring us back together again but instead its brought out a side of him I never wanted to see.

I just wish things could be fixed but neither of us can see a way forward so that's it.

I'm fucking hurting though :(

Just try and keep yourself and Dcs busy, play dates etc...it's exhausting putting on a face but it is so worth it. When the kids go to bed that's your time to pour a glass of wine and let it all out, I know it's difficult but try and take it one day at a time and don't think too far ahead, who knows what could happen

Do you have some rl support?

I have my mum, brother and friends keeping me going here and even just reading these messages is giving me a morale boost when I feel myself getting frustrated.

After the initial pain and shock has worn off you might start to feel a certain amount of relief that you don't have to deal with his issues anymore...it sounds as if things have been tense and unhappy for a while , you only have yourself to suit now.... Enjoy it

Maybe the break will do him some good. He won't be thinking as he would normally if depressed.

However you have said yourself that you are not in love with him anymore so parting may be for the best. Ideally it would involve him being a bit closer though for the sake of your children.