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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How long to recover?

1 reply

NotRichardGere · 23/02/2015 17:12

I managed to get myself into a situation with an old friend and colleague. I've known him about 15 years, always considered him one of the good guys, a decent family man etc etc. Because I never for a minute thought of him as a romantic possibility (both married and not interested in straying) I didn't realise at all when we started becoming inappropriately close. He was a very good friend and no more, I think he felt the same way. But, same old story, over time it did become more until I was completely reliant on him emotionally, much more than on DP. Still neither of us realised it was wrong, it was special, but not wrong, we never did anything wrong etc etc.

Anyway eventually, 3 years ago we admitted it had gone too far and needed to stop. The first 3 months was really hard, I wanted to cry all the time. I had lots of shaky moments for the first year.

Still, 3 years on, when something especially good or bad happens in my life, he's the first person I want to tell, although I don't. This weekend I saw a trailer for the new Marigold Hotel film, featuring an aging Richard Gere and my heart practically stopped at RG's resemblance to my friend. They're not alike at all, my friend is so not Richard Gere but there was a twinkle in his eye that just made me think of him. When will this stop?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/02/2015 17:19

You can't put a time frame on it but you could try to be consciously closer with your DP. Shouldn't they be the one you want to share intimate little things with?

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