Tell him I found his porn?

[ThePartyArtist]

Last year I found a magazine under my then DPs (now husband) bedside table. I wasnt snooping, but found it when I had to move the furniture due to maintenance work being done. I was a bit shocked to be honest, and did tell him Id found it, to which he reacted rather embarrassed. I think I gave him the impression I wasnt entirely comfortable with it but just found it a bit silly and wasnt too threatened by it, just didnt really want to see it and wasnt sure what to make of it.
Fast forward almost a year, were now married. We moved into our new home a few months ago. Last night I was moving the same piece of furniture to access the drawer under the bed and found a different magazine. I dont really know what to make of it. Im not even sure why I feel a bit unsure, just trying to process my reaction I guess. Is this normal (yes Im sure), but I mean normal to know your husbands looking at it and hiding the magazine from you. Should I tell him I know or just leave him to it?

My ExH and new DP both use(d) porn so I wouldn't worry, but that's just my view. Most women in my circle of friends have read 50 Shades, so unless the porn you found is particularly disturbing, it's probably harmless. Why does it worry you so? Most men seem to view or read porn of some sort; better that than the secretary IMHO...

A magazine? Is he in his seventies? Or do you have realllly slow internet?

Sorry to sound flippant. Most men look at porn, some get embarrassed by being "found out". If you don't want to look at porn together (I quite like watching porn with a partner as a prelude to sex) then just pretend you don't know.

I guess maybe it's just the secrecy element in unsure of.

I'd much, much prefer to find a mag than him spending hours of obsessive wanking over progressively more hardcore videos online.

I'd personally prefer no porn at all, but it's your relationship, what do you think?

I found my DHs old porn last year. I just said to him, 'I found all your old porn. Gross.' He laughed and said 'Oh God.' But it's not a huge deal to me. If it was, I'd tell him.

I think you need to think about where you stand on the issue of porn and then have a full and Frank discussion of it, no hinting be clear!

Get your thoughts together then talk.

Joysmum is correct...ther is no point in confronting him until you have decided where you stand on the subject of porn, it's a tricky moral subject and isn't for everybody.

God no, allow the man some privacy! If you don't have a clear problem with porn, which it sounds like you don't, then why would you tell him you found it? Purely to embarrass him?

Secrecy? What should he do, openly start flicking (the mag) in the living room?

Good god. A man has a porn magazine. Are you Amish, op?

OP, you do know it's ok to find porn unacceptable?

Blimey! Get over it love!

I'm suprised at the number of people who seem to marry without knowing their partner's opinions on things like this. OP if you don't like him looking at porn it is ok to say so.

Part of (in fact most of) watching porn is a guilty secret 'self' pleasure. Be it magazines or erotica. For a lot of couples they watch or read it together as a prelude to sex, for others, often when a partner doesn't approve, they enjoy it alone. It sounds like your dH assumes you are uneasy and therefore keeps it to himself partly not to upset you, partly because the secrecy part makes it 'naughtier'. Unless you want to share, then I would say leave the man some privacy. I agree, this is one thing that he may not want an in depth probing middle class navel gazing discussion. Everyone needs some space.

I agree with Fairenuff

I am totally against any form of porn and the 'are you Amish' comment is pretty pathetic.

However, this was talked about way before marriage and I married someone who agreed with my stance on it.

These conversations need to happen before a commitment is made, but that isn't helpful to you right now I know. It surprises me that these conversation don't seem to happen very often.

If you don't mine porn then there is no need to bring it up. If you decide you don't want porn in your marriage then obviously you need to discuss it.

I have a problem with porn if I'm not getting any. I found out my DH was looking at porn on the internet years ago and was really upset, our sex life was pretty lackluster then and told him to stop.

Now that I'm going through my "I'm 40 and want to have sex every day" stage I'm pretty keen on the idea of porn. Now how to tell him?

You have a DH that likes to look at a bit of porn however, so if you tell him not to it's unlikely he'll stop, just stop doing where you can find out.

A single mag under some furniture is pretty tame if you ask me and nothing to worry about. If you're a bit unsure about what to do but not too concerned about it, I'd not even mention it. But, if you are interested in porn, then go buy a mag you like and put it there with a note "next time come and get me, I have some positions I want to try out"

I think it's funny he put it back in the same spot you found the first one.