EA or just neglect?

[ProgrammedToFunction]

My DM is a narc and I am adjusting to coming out of denial and accepting this. I recently confronted her and my enabling DSF. It was plain to see that they will never see how much hurt they cause, so I am finally detaching for my own sanity.

What I am struggling with is whether it was simply a case of emotional neglect growing up (even in adulthood). Is that the same as EA or are they different?

Emotional abuse is usually motivated by control. There's a conscious or deliberate aspect to it and it's a means to an end. Emotional neglect is more about carelessness or thoughtlessness than malice.

Thank you for the reply. If it was thoughtlessness, would you expect the person to be sorry when you say how much they have hurt you?

Not necessarily. If they are thoughtless because they are self absorbed and don't particularly care about the consequences of their actions on others, they're unlikely to acknowledge or apologise. If the thoughtlessness happened in spite of best intentions they'd have probably apologised at the time.

That sums it up really, all the years of selfish behaviour and tatrums like a child. She hasn't ever cared about the consequences.

I didn't think I belonged in the stately homes thread until recently. I may need to join now. Thank you for your help.