Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm so hurt and lonely

2 replies

HairyOrk · 23/02/2015 09:47

Ex and I split up three weeks ago.
This happened a few days after my grandmother had died and my business suffered an accident. Last week I got nasty food poisoning and then was made redundant (with no redundancy pay, just 2 weeks notice) because the family I work for can no longer afford a Nanny.
At the moment I feel very rejected and a bit like the world has something against me!

Despite feeling at the time like ex had left me, it actually was a joint decision - mainly driven by me.
Despite this, I seem to be the one hurting the most and he seems fine.
We were together for almost 5 years and he was always the most loving one, to the point of being smothering. Now, he seems distant and cool with me and seems to be carrying on with life quite merrily.
He did get the softer end of the stick as he is keeping the house, the dog and his life situation has barely changed at all. I used to work away a lot so it probably doesn't even feel that different.
I, however, have had to find a new place to live, don't have my pets or a lot of my stuff (I'm having to collect it in drips and drabs), no longer have two of my main sources of support (ex and my grandma) plus am now in a crap financial situation until the insurance (fingers crossed) pays out for my business and then ex's parents buy out my share of the house.
I also have to find a new job, none available anywhere near my previous paygrade.

I don't have that many friends (though have got a lot of support here) and I wake up everyday having dreamt I was in my old life, feeling cripplingly lonely. I want to go back to ex, even though I ended it and I know its not right, and it pains me to know he probably wouldn't get back anyway.

Sorry for the big moany rant, it feels better to get it out and my family are probably sick of me now.

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 23/02/2015 12:36

It sounds like a horrendous month I'm sorry about your grandmother. Flowers

You mention family so it seems that you have some rl support. Mutual as the split may have been, it irks you a bit how fast ex has emotionally moved on. It is tempting to go back when we're low but try and view that chapter as finished and focus on the property. While your possessions are still there keep things civil with ex. Have you obtained legal advice?

It was unlucky timing your nannying job folding when it did. Are you planning to resurrect your business when the insurance company pays up?

If possible in your shoes while free of pets and employers I would take a break. Maybe some sun somewhere, consider options. Once you have a lump sum from ex's parents you can breathe more easily. Perhaps work abroad? A fresh start.

SensationalGirl · 23/02/2015 12:42

After all that I'd be surprised if you weren't depressed. Hang in there, life has thrown you the shittest month of your life. See your doctor if you're struggling with depression, it's not shameful to seek help.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page