Deciding whether to try again

[Takedeux]

After quite a lot of time and lots of soul searching, I think I am finally in a place where I want to see if ex and I can give things another go.

We have one DD, who is 2. She is without question the best thing that has happened to me (I think him too). She wasn't planned, and I got pregnant quite early on in our relationship, though we had known each other for a long time first, and we both reacted quite badly. All of that seems like another life now though.

I have a good job, a good social life, and plenty of RL support, and I have had a great couple of years just me and DD in te day to day, so I am certain that my desire to try again is not motivated by loneliness, or from a need for support. It is just that having him around makes life that little bit more fun.

What things should I be thinking about?

I know of course he may not be willing to try anyway

I think you should be thinking about why it didn't work the first time. Really be honest with yourself about it, pull up all the bad memories and give them a close look under the microscope. People tend not to change very much IME and 2 years is not all that log ago. You may be sure of your motives but what are his?

"he may not be willing to try"

Sorry.... I missed this part. You mean he's not actually floated the idea of getting back together?

Have you fixed what wasn't working before or has it just been swept under the carpet? If it's the latter you are in for serious problems.

You really need to have a long, hard and brutally honest chat with him about this. That's the only advice I would give.

BTW... it could easily be that you can have fun together as amicable co-parents but that as partners you're a disaster. The danger of declaring your hand and offering to get back together is that you end up with the worst of both worlds.... i.e. a bad partner or the loss of a good friendship.

I think u can forget Wat it's really like with someone if had time apart it can make u forget the bad. Just remember why u split in first place. I usually think an ex is an ex for a reason.

Unless I am being really dense he is willing to try. We haven't had That conversation yet, though, as I want to be sure that I at least am quite sure before initiating it.

The main reasons I think it didn't work out last time
Unrealistic expectations of each other. We had both come out of long term relationships quite recently when we got together, and were expecting each other to act like the previous partner. This issue is definitely now resolved, as we now know how we each react to things, not how we expected each other to, iykwim.

The idea of a baby was a big one. His response was to become a wild party animal, mine was to hibernate. Someway down the line, we are both Normal again.

If you both want to try again then why not start slowly.
Start dating once or twice a week to see how it goes.
If it comes to moving in together then you have a whole other array of things to consider and get in place first!