how do you cope if you have to see him daily?

[vicarinatutu]

i left my dh of almost 30 years because i couldnt face an affair....i left him for someone else.

someone else told me he felt the same way as me.....i was besotted and totally in love.

someone else scarpered the moment things got hairy.

so now im alone. fine. i made the decision to leave dh and i still feel it was the right one.

but now im alone. and i still have to see my ex lover every day, knowing he is existing elsewhere with someone else.

how do i get over this? i cant eat or sleep. ive lost 2st in weight. its over and i know that now (after he messed me about for a good month following the breatkup)

not seeing him isnt an option.

how the hell do i move on? its killing me.

Do you have any real life support?

Never been through the same, but you must take care of yourself and look for professional support if you are that seriously affected.
Any chance of unpaid leave, or a career break?

i have friends but i moved to a completely new area so no friends here to call on.

couldnt afford unpaid leave or career break - am now single so having to fund house/bills/ etc etc.

Have you seen the GP?
It may help with some medication or a referral to counselling.
Be kind to yourself. Why not start getting involved in something that gives you pleasure? Meet new people and find something else to think about? Easier said than done, I know, but he certainly doesn't deserve that you wreck yourself.

im already on anti depressants and have been for around 2 1/2 years - things werent right with dh.

gp wont be able to do anything more. im on sertraline which works for me and i can function.

i could get counselling through work but right now cant face going back to say ive fucked my life up.

i dont know how to meet new people. im sociable and outgoing but since ive moved i have had no reason to meet anyone. i dont have kids with me (theyre grown up) and im struggling to find anything or any way of meeting people.

on my days off i can see not a soul for 5 days or more.

im trying so hard to stay healthy but ive stopped eating. im drinking way too much. im trying to go running or the gym 3 times a week but the gy is a works one and no chance to meet anyone there.

ive just requested to join a community forum in the hopes i can find something to do.

im so lonely. i left my dh. my grown up children. my pets.

Sorry that you had a bad experience. I think you'll have to shift heaven and earth to change your new life. If you can't physically relocate - which would be ideal - you'll have to engage in a concerted effort to fill your life with more positive things. The busier you are with new people, new projects, new interests, the less time you'll have to dwell on what might have been. BTW if medication isn't achieving anything useful, please tell your doctor.

Do you read? I found that joining a book group was a good way of meeting new people. It's only once a month (although you can join 2 groups, if you are a big reader) but when you do meet, the book provides a starter for conversation, so you are all talking before you know it . . . .

We now socialise together as a group - ie use the bookgroup email list to organise cinema/theatre trips/meals out etc.

It sounds like a small start, but hope it helps. You were very brave to end your marriage first, rather than to cheat on your dh. Sorry it didn't work out with the OM, but hopefully having found out now that he wasn't who you hoped, you can start to rebuild a new life based on you and your interests.

HTH

Look up " MEETUP " it is an online social network where you can find local groups to join. There are dozens of groups in my area, I've joined several and it has transformed my social life.
The groups meet throughout the week and weekends.